jonesin' for a latte

Plugging along in the winter.

2012-01-11T12:13:00.004-05:00

I have a tendency to spread myself over multiple projects. Such is the case with blogging. I post happenings on Facebook, plus I have a private forum where I write more personal things...not to mention the multiple public forums (for chicken owners, moms, etc). I'm currently a little obsessed with myfitnesspal.com, so if you're trying to lose a few pounds, you can come find me there. Yup, it's time to get back on the weight loss wagon. This is going to be my year! ;)

Anyway...about the chickens. It's an ongoing process, somewhat fluid, with sticking points occasionally. I paid (what is to me) big bucks to get a custom-built coop with a run, and I'm happy with the result. I started out with eight chicks, then got two more from someone else; then I lost four of them to predators - leaving me six, which is what I was supposed to have to begin with (according to the landlord). BUT...then, a couple of months ago, I tried hatching a batch of fertile eggs from the grocery store (no, I did not come up with this strange idea on my own). Of that batch, I ended up with one live chick. I bought three more chicks to keep him company, but I ended up selling two and taking one (another young rooster) to the local feed shop to do with as they please. We have one girl left, six weeks old today, hanging out in our laundry room (in a plastic storage bin). I took her out yesterday to try life with the big girls, and she immediately got attacked. So we'll put that off for a bit longer. Future plans: to try hatching again with fresh fertile eggs (lavender and maybe splash Orpingtons - I <3 Orpingtons!) in the spring.

This winter hasn't so bad for me. I think the weather has been a little milder. We haven't had any snow yet, and there have been more clear (or partly clear) days. Marcus is hankering for snow, but I'm just fine without it. ;) I'm not really any more involved with groups than I was a year ago, but I guess it's not bothering me as much. We go to swimming lessons twice a week (morning for Ari, after school for Marcus). I used to take Ari to a regular playdate on Tuesdays, then Wednesdays, and now they're back to Tuesday, so we can't go (since we like our T/Th swim instructor). Sometimes we meet with other friends on Monday mornings, but it's not a regular group. We generally spend afternoons at home unless we have errands to run. We let the chickens free range in the yard for a while and give them treats (very popular with Ari). I'm still feeling the lack of any close-knit social group, but we're in contact with a few different groups, and I guess that works most of the time. I also keep thinking I need to give our Lake Forest Park moms group a little push somehow, but I can't fathom inviting a group over to our messy house (which is of course an ongoing project).

Speaking of which...Loki passed away last month. It's sometimes a little empty in the house without him here, and I think Phantom misses him. But the upside is that there are no longer hairballs and feline accidents all the time. The litter pan is gone. So we're one step closer to a living room safe for crawlers (not that I have any crawlers anymore, but friends do).

Christmas was good overall, and I was actually awake for New Year's Eve (albeit in a later time zone). I think it was the first time I stayed up on NYE since before I had kids. Ari fell asleep on my lap in a recliner (and amazingly stayed asleep through all the midnight hoopla). It was very nice to be with family for the occasion.

Chickens!

2011-07-12T18:18:00.001-04:00

When we get home from Germany/Iowa (end of August), we're going to be chicken owners! :D

Reflections.

2011-03-31T14:27:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was Ari's first birthday. It was a bittersweet day. Not only did I frequently remember details and feelings from the birth (a saga which was not even close to over yet, as of March 31), but I kept thinking about whether she would be my last child. I never understood mothers getting upset about their baby's first birthday because it didn't bother me last time. I was happy to be out of the first year with Marcus. I also fully expected to have more children, so there would be more babies. Maybe that's why this time seems different. I cherish more moments now - and feel guilty when I don't. I love this age, and sometimes I wish I could keep her just like this!

The past year started out very (very) difficult, and the first few months were definitely trying, but the rest of the year has flown by. In terms of how I feel about the birth, it certainly doesn't feel like a year has passed. It's still hard to deal with. As much I think about how I wish I had more children, when I think about being pregnant and going through birth again, it's a little...horrifying? I wish I could have been one of the women for whom birth was relatively easy. There was a time, not so many years ago, when I considered having up to four kids. That was before extended breastfeeding. Everything has come together - fate, if you will - to suggest that more children are not in my future. I appreciate letting babies (toddlers! preschoolers!) nurse as long as they need. I appreciate co-sleeping with babies who won't sleep on their own. I feel that having a lot of children is not very responsible to the rest of society, which is already overpopulated. I'm approaching 40, and my two births were both hard on me, physically. I would like to get as healthy as I can and enjoy the rest of my life more. It doesn't make sense to have any more kids. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept. Even adoption wouldn't be the same. I love these little people that are part of me.

Anyway...

We've now been in Seattle for seven months. Ari is more a Washingtonian than a Hoosier. ;) I've come to the conclusion that I will never (okay, never being unknown - but no time in the near future) be a city girl. I hate traffic. I hate being close to so many neighbors. I miss not being able to drive through open space. I don't care for evergreen trees - they're ugly (some of them) and too dark. I'm not sure if I will ever feel at home here. However, to keep this a little more positive...days are quickly growing longer, which is nice. It's not as warm as I'd like, but long-time residents and weather forecasters both say that it has been a particularly cool and dismal winter and spring thus far. (We have La Nina to thank for that). Trees are blossoming, which, now that I think about it, happened a week or two earlier here than it did a year ago in Indiana. When I went into the hospital, the trees had not bloomed; when I came out on April 6th, spring blossoms were everywhere. It was surreal at the time.

My decluttering continues, slowly. I have to laugh when I go back and see that I started talking about decluttering in the fall. Most of the storage room (a room that I hope will have another designation someday) remains untouched, though I recently started on it. I've made a few trips here and there - books to a drop bin (after a pathetic payout at the used book store), Goodwill - not to mention listed several items on Freecycle and Craigslist. I keep reading and stay inspired, but progress is slow with a demanding toddler, naps, school pickup time, etc. ;)

So here's to spring! And summer! I'd like to think that the longer days and increased sun will help with my mood. It's also more fun to get out with Ari now that she can walk (although this means following her around at the playground, LOL). I'm looking forward to attending playdates more regularly (and meeting more moms!) with her, as she's getting old enough to not need a morning nap. The times, they are a-changing. Again.

There versus Here.

2011-01-26T20:46:00.004-05:00

What I miss from Indiana:

- friends there, of course
- flat open land around me
- relatively minimal traffic (and more space for driving)
- having most everything I want within a mile or two
- McAlister's Deli (and sweet tea)
- Einstein Bros bagels (with schmears - I <3 their cream cheese)
- sunsets! - although the best ones were on the farm in IA. But that's more in the summer, and perhaps sunsets here will improve in summer as well.
- thunderstorms, especially in the summer
- cost of living (especially real estate and food)
- lawns that actually dry out when it's not raining :P
- our neighbors were a bit more social/friendly
- YMCA was nearby. Here's it's more hassle to get to one, and there aren't many health clubs or gyms with child care.
- Easy free parking wherever you go (excluding downtown Indianapolis).

What I like about Seattle:

- variety of eateries (although there were plenty in Indy, but we didn't go there very often just to eat, since it was 50+ miles away)
- coffee shops everywhere
- foodie grocery stores (and many grocery chains to choose from)
- "The Sound" (and Lake Washington is nice too, when I get a view of it)
- milder winter temps (no bronchitis so far this winter, knock on wood!)
- IKEA is half an hour away instead of two hours ;)
- more crunchy moms
- more appreciation for recycling, environmental issues, natural resources, etc
- greater flexibility regarding health care options
- theoretically more movie and concert options - not that I get to do this yet
- Yoga! A lot of options. But I can't do this yet either. Someday. ;)

I may add to the lists as I think of more things...

Pho.

2011-01-14T16:55:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, Ari and I went on an excursion to sample some taco places, as well as experience pho. We went to two taquerias (one an actual restaurant, the other a taco truck). Both were fairly good but didn't have the right fish tacos to satisfy me (the one thing I miss the most about southern CA). Sigh.

Pho was an entirely new thing. I figured I needed to try it, given the large number of pho restaurants around here. I guess I had built up high expectations - and was a little disappointed. Perhaps the beef pho is the best, but I don't eat beef. I tried the chicken. This consists of a clear broth, a pile of rice noodles, several flat pieces of chicken, and some herbs (maybe cilantro?). In addition, I was given a plate of some very fragrant basil, a large pile of sprouts, a couple of lemon wedges, and a sliced pepper (not sure what kind). I added everything but the pepper. It wasn't bad by any means. The broth was tasty enough but not exciting. The noodles were okay, and Ari enjoyed them - which brings me to another point.

I had this strange epiphany of what it must feel like to be an immigrant. There are just enough changes here for it to feel weird for me. I didn't notice this so much in southern California - though it had its differences from the Midwest. And I certainly didn't notice it in Indiana, which is a little more redneck-y but otherwise very similar to Iowa. I'm not sure why I never felt like this in California, because there are plenty of differences there. Maybe it was because I didn't have kids*. I certainly tried new things in California. I ate fish tacos, and they blended right in with my usual routine. I became an avocado fan. I was introduced to lattes, by way of the Frappuccino. But here, as I sat in this Vietnamese restaurant, feeding pho rice noodles to Ari, it occurred to me how different my kids' childhoods are from mine, and how they may likely grow up feeling that this part of the country, with its physical and cultural differences, is normal. These thoughts in turn made me feel like the weird outsider trying to hang on to her roots. Luckily I still speak the language. ;)

*Another difference - it had most of the same chain businesses. Many chain restaurants are missing here. Or, if they are in the area, they're considerably north (Lynnwood/Everett) or south (Tukwila/Renton) or east (Bellevue/Redmond) of us. I suspect the same applies to some chain stores as well. It's a bit of a culture shock at times. I don't know where to go to get something I want. I'm supportive of the idea of small businesses over big corporations, but it's a big change to actually live in an area where this is put into practice.

2010 Photo Review

2011-01-01T19:24:00.006-05:00

January

Marcus turns 5.

February

Snow in Muncie.

Turkeys we made at Muncie Children's Museum - right before they met their doom. (We made them on Thanksgiving but they hung around to February). Couldn't resist posting!

Baby shower at Johnny Carino's.

March

Test run of the birth tub.

Ari is born.

April

Ari and I are hospitalized.

...and come home.

Grandma visits.

Oma visits.

May

We visit Chicago (for Aris's passport).

June

Happy birthday Chris!

July

Fourth of July at the pool

Marcus on his last day of summer preschool

August

Playing at Cornerstone for the Arts fair

Goofiness (requested by Marcus)

Ari trying to crawl @ 5 months (visiting IA on way to WA)

September

Marcus's first day of kindergarten.

Chris and pets take x-country trip to WA.

Officially moving in.

Visiting new places in WA...Bothell Country Village.

Beach @ Puget Sound.

October

Meeting new people in WA.

Halloween.

Marcus's first time rollerskating.

Visiting Woodland Park Zoo.

November

Baby's first snow (and our first snow in WA).

And our only snowman of the year.

December

Oma visits.

Marcus in his German school play. (far right)

Hiking at Hamlin Park

Baby's first Christmas - Christmas morning

Fondue on New Year's Eve

Thoughts on...life and new motherhood.

2010-11-20T16:55:00.004-05:00

Being alone with a baby for much of the day gives me lots of time to mull over all kinds of deep things. I think about families and if ours is complete and how I feel about larger ones [a little envious but I couldn't do it]. I think about how I got cheated by my birth experiences and wonder if I'll ever fully get over it [not sure but right now I'm pissed about it]. I think about how much different my life is from what I expected, now that I'm a) living in a big city, and b) nowhere near my family of birth [it's hard and profound at times]. I read minimalist blogs (I added a few to my blog roster here) and ponder how to break my attachment to all my stuff so I can have a simple, spacious house (and then I wonder if there's any point in trying to attain such a goal since we're all packrats here).

I'm sure I'll come back to that minimalist issue again later. It's a fascination that won't go away. Notice that food, diet, weight and exercise are not mentioned in that list. They're just not high priorities right now. I eat what I want for the most part (although the sugar/diabetes issue does come to mind occasionally). I don't exercise, aside from walking Marcus to school off and on. I fantasize a bit about being able to go to yoga on a regular basis and maybe hit the gym for a soothing visit to the hot tub (if such a place exists around here) but I don't see that happening for a while. I have a very needy little Mama's Girl who won't let me go anywhere without her. And I adore her, so I try to stay in the moment for her. There will (hopefully) be time for yoga and hot tubs later.

Being a mother to a baby seems so much different this time around. I know moms claim that they are more relaxed, because they have the experience and knowledge - but I don't think that's it for me. I think I was a relatively laid-back mom the first time around. Some things that freaked out other moms didn't bother me. I hate to say this, but the difference might just be due to having a girl. Higher cuteness factor. ;) Or it might be due to other parts of my life being different. When Marcus was a baby, certain aspects (how and where he slept, nursing, neediness, etc) were a struggle. I also felt extremely lousy physically and didn't yet know why. Now these things are old news. My kids are needy. They nurse a lot at night. They don't like to be alone. And I'm physically sore from screwed-up sleep. That's just how it is. But I have an extremely cute and loving baby, so I bide my time. It will get better. As for the other stuff - who knows.

More this and that.

2010-11-02T17:03:00.004-04:00

I was wrong about the rain. It hasn't gotten full hold yet. We're enjoying a sunny day today and are likely to get one or two more before the rain returns. This is good - I like some sun in the fall. We also got a non-rainy Halloween night, which was nice.

I sometimes have the sensation that time is rushing by. Another year is nearly over. Ari is seven months old. Seven months since her amazing and then horrific birth! Marcus is in kindergarten. I'm living in a new city that I never could have predicted I'd end up in (and Chris is working in corporate cubeland). Some of the meetups that interest me repeat on the same day each week, and I am amazed at how quickly a week seems to go by. It's surreal. It's not that I'm super happy, because I'm definitely not on some days - but I'm busy with Ari and Marcus and the whole routine (inconsistent as it may be).

With that said...I think Mom had it easy when it came to the morning routine. I remember days when she was still in her pink bathrobe when we went to school. And I imagine the little ones weren't all dressed in the morning either. Life is different here. Everyone has to be ready to walk or drive the half mile to school every day. It's a little crazy.

Here Comes the Rain Again...

2010-10-23T19:24:00.003-04:00

Falling on my head like a memory...
Falling on my head like a new emotion...

It's a little ironic that my last post was about sun. Now it is raining, and based on the forecast and the comments local people have been making, it sounds as though it will be raining constantly between now and...next summer (or spring, at least).

Since we're due for a very blustery day tomorrow, the colorful leaves may soon be gone. But I have to say that there *are* some nice fall trees out here, and some of them really pop out on foggy and cloudy days. It's kind of cool actually. I still prefer sunny days with gobs of colorful trees, but this fall hasn't been as bad as I expected when I first arrived. ;)

One of my dilemmas this past month or so has been where to go for the traditional fall cider, doughnuts, pumpkin patch, etc. There were a couple of great places like this near Muncie, but visiting one require a longer drive here. Part of me feels compelled to do things like this in spite of having a six month old baby. You never know what the future may bring - gotta take advantage now! But I've changed my mind about this. It's tempting, but it's just too much hassle. Next fall, I'll have a toddler who can get more out of it, won't be napping 3x a day, and hopefully will tolerate the car trip better. So why torture everyone? We have enough to do around here. Next fall, we can see more.

Sun, sun, sun...here it comes.

2010-10-19T18:36:00.003-04:00

When I was young, I always felt our house was oriented towards the east, and that this was the way things should be. Technically, it faced south, but the front porch was on the east. Nothing hindered the view of the horizon, aside from one tree, which was easily navigated. Every day, you'd see the sun rise, assuming you were awake at the right time. And really, you could be nearly anywhere in our yard and see the sun at any time of day. I saw many sunsets.

So I've become aware in the last few years how odd it feels to me not to be able to see the sun rise and set. I didn't think of it much during my time in California. When I first moved to Muncie, I think I sometimes saw sunsets from our apartment. But upon moving to our house there, I couldn't see any horizons. And I don't see them from our house here either. We do face east, which is nice. We get sun filtering through the evergreens (and often fog) after it's been up for an hour or so, as well as nice late afternoon sun through the trees on the west side. Any sunlight is appreciated here. But I feel a little claustrophobic at times. It's just weird. I wonder how many people (must be many) go through their whole lives without actually seeing the sun rise and set.

(I will say, however, that the sunset can be viewed at beaches along the Sound - with some Olympic mountain interference, perhaps).

Fall.

2010-10-14T21:46:00.003-04:00

I tend to wonder if I'm self-medicating with all this sugar. Of course, I've always liked sweets (and food in general) so it's not too surprising that I would go a little wild upon arriving in a new city with new food. It seems like we go out nearly every day. Today, it wasn't sugar - it was lunch. A friend suggested I try a local chain with fish tacos, so we went to the nearest location (Northgate). When we got there, we saw another place called Gyro Hut, which turned out to have some rather tasty fries with garlic mayo. I had to get a fish taco too while I was there, and it was okay but nothing to get excited about. The toppings were good but the fish itself was blah. I told Marcus that we might go to University Village tomorrow (which has the famous Trophy Cupcakes, Jamba Juice, and Red Mango...when asked which Marcus wanted, he replied "all of them!"). I haven't even seen the whole mall yet. And there is a coffee place near here which allegedly has good pastries and Italian sodas. *sigh* So many options.

But back to the original point. I don't know how well I'm adjusting to the new city, food bliss aside. I never really got independent with Ari before coming here, so that has been an adjustment in itself. I'm practically a single parent during the week, considering how long the work days are. Evenings aren't much better, because everyone is tired and cranky.

Meeting people here is a very slow process. Getting stuff sorted in our [slightly too small!] house is also a slow process. Everything is just going slower than I expected, I guess. I don't think I'm much more depressed than I was before leaving, but I don't have the same ways to deal with it. I'm trying to be "in the moment" with Ari, since she will likely be my last child (no guarantees on that, but likely), yet I also spend a lot of time on Facebook and looking for things to do in order to...what? I'm not sure. I feel an undercurrent of both anxiety and boredom, that I'm often trying to assuage. I don't know how else to explain it.

We've taken a couple more outings, to parks and other towns in the metro area. I've been on the east side only twice, briefly. I'm thankful to say that there *are* a few deciduous trees here, and they are turning colors as expected. It's nice. The weather has been decent...although even when it's sunny, the ground never seems to dry out. I guess summer is really the only time you can put little kids in the grass. There are still farmer's markets here, although the ones closest to us ended last week. The plethora of Washington apples is nice. Yum.

Gotta go...

This and that.

2010-10-04T18:18:00.005-04:00

We've started to fall into some semblance of a routine here, though it's still a bit chaotic. We got a decent amount unpacked over the last few days, which makes me feel a little better. I'd really like this house to end up with at least a room or two that feel comfortable and uncluttered. It's nice to work towards that goal.

Today, Ari and I went to West Seattle to pick up a free toy (a very basic exersaucer type thing). That area has its own PCC Market and Met Market (oddly quite close to each other, just like the NE ones), so of course I had to go their for goodies. Will I ever tire of the frequent cupcakes and other desserts? Considering that I may be pre-diabetic, perhaps it is time to get out the old blood tester and monitor things for a while. At least the morning walks are likely to be helping.

As we move more into fall, I have my eye on the weather here and the Midwest. It's getting slightly cooler but not much. It's been about like this (days in the 60s, nights in the 50s), since we got here...while IA and IN enjoyed their warm days. But now, the nights are getting much colder there, and they're not here. I hear it's supposed to be a overly wet but not overly cold La Nina winter here. We shall see.

I don't know if it's a result of the move away from friends or just a natural part of a growing baby - or even thoughts about Ari being my last (!) - but I find that I adore her more and more. She started a cute little babble a few days ago. She woke me up a lot last night, and my elbows ache from the fibromyalgia flareup...but she's cute as heck, so I can't be too upset with her. ;)

One and done.

2010-09-30T23:11:00.004-04:00

This two-child thing, complete with a full-day kindergartner, is a learning process. Ari's naps are still imprecise. Today we went out for some afternoon activities and ended up with crabby baby, a couple of abbreviated car naps, and coming home during rush hour traffic (Bad Idea). So I think we're stuck with maybe one after school activity, if any (snack somewhere, park trip, whatever), and then returning home. Luckily Ari has been taking her longer nap in the morning (opposite of what Marcus did!). That may be a problem when the morning nap disappears, but for now it's okay, since the afternoon is butchered by school pickup. We don't get out to see other people so much...but it will happen eventually, right? *sigh* I'm still in a state of disbelief that I'm really here in this weird (climate-wise) place. I sometimes feel like I'm due to go home soon. And then sometimes I really don't know where home is. I certainly never thought it would be here.

Part 2

2010-09-27T20:37:00.004-04:00

We didn't make it to Panera. The closest place that supposedly had this baby carrier wasn't a retail location (it was a residence!), and no one came to the door. Off we went to seller #2, which was in Edmonds (and not near our Panera). Downtown Edmonds is a quaint place, with lots of shops. The staff in the baby boutique was very friendly; I might just go back. They had the Pikkolo, which felt VERY similar to the Gemini, but they didn't yet have the Gemini in stock to compare. So they're going to call me when their shipment of Geminis arrives. This really shouldn't be this complicated, right?

After we left there, we decided to eat in one of the cute little coffee shops. I had a 1/2 panini (a little too heavy on the olives for me, but tasty), a side salad, and a crepe filled with lemon curd. Ari had milk and a couple of apple slices. ;)

We then hurried to pick up Marcus (a bit late - oops). He reported that school was "pretty awesome" - woohoo! I didn't get much more out of him than that, but reports about his half day class were never so positive.

Screaming baby. Gotta go.

M's first day of full-day kindergarten.

2010-09-27T15:16:00.003-04:00

How am I feeling about this? Hmm. Part of me is okay with it, I guess. Ari took a long nap this morning, and I didn't have to worry about being up* to watch for the bus. Part of me is feeling guilty and sad...bittersweet, I guess. Part of me is angry for being pushed into signing up for more school, when he's perfectly happy to hang out and watch videos (which doesn't seem to cause me a huge amount of guilt - at least he's home with me). And part of me wonders if I am overreacting about this whole thing. Life goes on. Kids go to school (unless you're a homeschooler). I now have more time to spend with Ari. We're going to head out shortly to another shop with baby carriers (to check out one other brand before I made a decision), and we might drop by Panera to pick up a free drink (courtesy of the My Panera card). I would like to work more on repacking/decluttering, but that's harder to do with a little one demanding to be held. We'll see how it goes when we get back...and hear from Marcus about his first day in the new classroom.

*Oh yes, this little girl still wants Mama right there all the time while she naps. In fact, she nursed for most of the hour and a half (or so). It's good to feel needed. It would also be nice to be able to get something else done. Ah, someday.

Crazy morning.

2010-09-24T14:51:00.002-04:00

Mornings are a little crazy here, no matter how much I do or don't do. Just getting Marcus moving in the morning is challenging enough. Today, Ari slept until 8:00, which is unusual. I had been itching to revisit Top Pot doughnuts and the Trophy Cupcake store (which has an AWESOME blueberry pie cupcake), so I figured she'd be good for a trip, what with the later than usual wakeup time. I have also been wanting to visit a shop that stocks baby carriers, in order to try a couple.

When I dropped Marcus off at school (we try to walk but not today), I also turned in the form for the full day kindergarten. On my way out, his current teacher came through the office area (with class) on the way to the Friday morning assembly, and I reported that he was due to switch classes. She thinks it will work well (or so she says). Since I was in the doorway, I got recruited to hold the door, and as the kids came through, Marcus saw me and smiled at me. I saw him hesitate...like maybe he wondered why I was there; maybe he wanted to break his formation and come with me, but he knew he wasn't supposed to go. My heart went out for him, and part of me at that moment wanted to go back and say it was a mistake - that my cute little boy shouldn't be in an all-day class yet. I almost cried as I left the building. Gah, I have turned into such an overemotional sap. I hope we're making the right decision with this.

Anyway, Ari and I headed on to Seattle. First we went to Top Pot, where there is no drive-through, so we had to wait for a parking space in the tiny lot. She was happy to get out of the car. I still had no cash, because the last time I drove to a Chase Bank, they didn't have a drive-through ATM, and I couldn't get out of the car. They put their ATMs on the side of the building, so you have to walk up. Not convenient with a baby who hates the car, hates getting back into the car after getting out, or falls asleep after a screaming session in the car. My original plan was to buy one or two doughnuts, but since I was paying by credit card, I felt like I ought to buy more. Stupid idea - I should get over it. I bought half a dozen doughnuts and an iced latte (my first non-Starbucks latte here. Woohoo).

Then we headed down to University Village. That place rocks, and there are already a lot of people there at 9:30 in the morning. We bought our blueberry pie cupcakes and walked around for a few minutes. I was tempted to get frozen yogurt at Red Mango (interesting and tasty stuff) but it wasn't open yet, so we went to the nearby QFC for some things. When we left, I got Ari set up in the car with a rice crunchy thing for babies, and my parking spot by the Red Mango was of course GONE, so I decided I'd better just head on to Birth & Beyond. We were running low on time anyway.

B&B was a cool store. I don't need so much of that stuff now, but the selection of carriers was nice, and the woman there helped me try on a few. I'm leaning towards the Beco Gemini instead of an Ergo (my previous choice). I quickly nursed Ari for a few minutes, and then we made a mad scramble to get back home by the time M's bus arrived. We got here at 11:16, which was pushing it. Luckily, the bus was a little late (11:20). Ari fell asleep on the trip home.

I gave Marcus a cupcake with express instructions NOT TO DROP IT. These are $3.50 cupcakes. And you can imagine what happened. He dropped it, in the dirt, after eating maybe half of it. I was still sitting in the car with Ari. I heard a wail from behind the car (where he was walking around) and then next thing I knew, Ari was awake and wailing as well. *sigh*

Staying home is just so much more peaceful.

Location, location.

2010-09-23T14:15:00.003-04:00

No, I haven't resolved the kindergarten issue yet. However, Marcus spent half a day in the full-day class yesterday, and it apparently went very well. At the same time, interest has perked up in the meetup groups for preschool age children getting together. Go figure. About the time I'm committed (sort of) to signing him up for the full day, people with older kids start coming out of the woodwork. That said...the meetup route would still be more work for me, and it wouldn't come even close to every day. So school is probably the better option. I just can't get over this guilt and bittersweet feeling about signing my first baby up for full-day school already...sigh.

After school, we went to the Puget Sound for the first time (aka "the sound"). We visited at Richmond Beach, in Shoreline. Marcus was a little disappointed that he didn't have his sand toys with him (oops) but otherwise, he was impressed. We'll have to look into other opportunities to visit the sound - including riding a ferry, once I figure out the best way to do so. I'm not sure how many decent days we'll have left this year for that sort of thing though. It's cooler and noticeably raining/drizzling today (as opposed to misting, which still allows for outings).

Following the beach trip, Marcus suggested a visit to Jamba Juice (yes!). I figured that the closest location (that I knew of) was Lynnwood, so we headed north during rush hour - not the smartest idea, but we made it. Gotta love being back in Jamba Juice territory. I missed it during my five years in Indiana. ;)

So here's the thing about location. We're not super far from anything, but we're not super close to anything either. Our house sits well away from the main arteries, and we have to drive through a somewhat twisty neighborhood to get anywhere. At about the one mile point, we have a McDonald's, a Starbucks and a few miscellaneous businesses. Mile and a half - we have the nice-but-limited town center, which has a small library, a couple small yummy eateries, an Albertson's grocery, and a few businesses (including a book store). There is a QFC grocery maybe 1.5-2 miles in another direction. At two miles, there's a Fred Meyer (the local grocery/dept store combo). More eateries seem to be limited until you go a bit further. Northgate Mall (with most shopping we'd need, and our favorites Panera and Chipotle) is four miles away. Within say 5-10 miles, you can explore a good share of Seattle to the south/SW (though I've mainly stuck to the NE part); Kenmore & Bothell to the NE; and Shoreline, Edmonds and the edge of Lynnwood to the NW. It takes a while to get to any of these places, because there are a lot of (slow) lights, traffic, and the speed limit is usually about 30-35 mph. I haven't ventured to the east side at all yet, and it seems both unnecessary (given the amount of stuff yet to see on this side) and unpractical (given the amount of baby car protesting I already endure) anytime soon.

Contrast this with Muncie, where just about *everything* was within a three mile radius of our house, and the traffic was minimal. The change is a bit of a shock, and eating out often, like we used to do, is a bit more tedious. I'm working on eating more at home (go figure) but progress is slow. ;)

That said, I'm not complaining much, because I like being able to explore the different areas. Maybe after this year is over, we will move more in one direction or another, based on where we tend to go the most.

Thoughts on the kids.

2010-09-21T13:33:00.004-04:00

There are elements of this move, and of this stage in life with Marcus, that I did not expect at all. I guess I thought we'd go to playdates, meet some other moms with similar aged kids (or at least similar aged to his friends in Muncie - a little younger), and life could potentially continue in a similar fashion to how it had been there, but with different people. Of course, I met many of the women in Muncie when Marcus was a baby. I joined the playgroup when the oldest kids were mostly two years older than him. We grew with the group, until Marcus was the oldest. The groups I've met here are young groups - young meaning new, with babies and toddlers. Maybe there are some lurking out there with preschoolers/AM kindergartners, but I haven't found them yet. And having a baby who needs to nap regularly (and who becomes a tyrant if she doesn't) makes it more difficult to find people.

The fact is, right now at least, it looks as if he will meet most/all of his new friends in school. That concept never occurred to me. There aren't even many kids right around our house. This neighborhood is a mixture of young families and retirees, but the ones right next to us are the latter (excluding one who is due to have their first baby in a few months). Kids do not hang out in their front yards and the street here, like they did at home, so I don't even see kids anywhere. Play opportunities do not readily present themselves. So his best chance seems to be making friends in kindergarten and setting up playtimes after school with them (and technically, since kids can enroll here from anywhere, they might not even be from our school district - which is okay but not as convenient).

Then there's the half-day vs full-day situation that I need to decide ASAP. For a while I was really enthusiastic about signing him up for full-day (we even just visited there yesterday). I think I like it better than the alternative, which is a program called K+, provided after his morning kindergarten. While the facility doesn't impress me, and the program would mean more work for me (preparing lunches and picking him up in the afternoon), it appeals to me for one reason: flexibility to do other things with him. A part of me still yearns for the way it used to be, when he and I did things together. There are so many places yet to see here...lately it's been restaurants, but eventually we'd do other things. If it were only us, with no Ari, we would have so much to do together. But Ari needs my attention, and Marcus suffers. Combine this with the playgroup demographic issue, and I feel as though I'm moving into a new era (for lack of a better word), where all my potential new friends will center around Ari, and Marcus is an outsider. That makes me sad. :( Anyway, with the K+ program, I could sign him up for 3-4 days per week and still have that other day to take him to lunch or whatever. I just don't know if it's worth the extra hassle, when Ari will always need an afternoon nap (for the rest of the school year), and many of those free days probably would end up with him sitting in front of the computer screen, just as he's been doing every afternoon thus far. *sigh*

There have been times lately when I've thought about the overall kid situation too - if there would ever be more. This is a case where biology is toying with me. I'm nearly 38, and as I've said before: I have no desire to be wrangling toddlers (besides the one I will have) in my 40s. I dreamt a couple of nights ago that I was pregnant, and I was horrified at the prospect of going through a terrible birth experience again. So I should be finished. I should be happy to be done and have gotten two healthy babies. Still, the idea of getting rid of all the baby stuff (which takes up too much space in our house!) is a very bittersweet one. I gotta enjoy my warm, squishy, soft baby while I have her, because I doubt I can handle going through this past six months again. ;)

Baby duty calls.

Observations thus far.

2010-09-16T12:03:00.002-04:00

In no particular order...

Spiders. We have a lot of them. They love to build webs right outside our front door. I know they're good critters, but they're a bit creepy.

Crows. Yeah...I don't see many birds here (aside from the quail-like parade running across the street the other day) - but there are many crows. I'm not impressed with crows.

The little espresso huts (not sure what the locals call them) are interesting and abundant. I haven't tried any lattes yet though. Sacrilege, I know. I'll get there, eventually.

I still don't care for the evergreen trees much, but they do make a nice view when you catch a glimpse of a horizon. Now I know why the houses with a view sell for so much more than those without.

Groceries cost more here. It's been a while, but I really don't remember a big change in grocery cost (except for maybe milk/meat products) when I moved from IA to CA. I've only been to Trader Joes and Central Market so far - and checked out Amazon Fresh - so I'm not sure how the average grocery store chain compares. But Amazon Fresh, tempting as it is (they will deliver your groceries to your door before 6 am if you order by midnight) seems way too pricey for me. Maybe my opinion will change after I shop around. Certainly, restaurant prices are a lot more here. But the food is good! Considering how tedious it is to take the gang shopping, home delivery is very tempting.

Gas is more expensive but I'm used to that from living in CA.

Half-day kindergarten is too short for me to do much, and I'm afraid to switch M to a [different] full-day class now. So far, we've had no luck hooking up with any other 4-5 year olds for some afternoon playtime. We've gone to two Meetups, and the kids were all under three years old. Also, there aren't many kids close by, to our disappointment. I imagine that there are a few within walking distance, but I'm not sure how to hook up with them. People told me I'd meet parents when taking M to school, but that hasn't happened much either. Turns out that most of the kids in M's class are either bussed or driven by car. So this whole process of meeting new people is taking longer than expected for both of us.

Most of the houses in our neighborhood (excluding ours!) are rather drab colors. I wonder about this. Do they want to blend with the grey skies? Do they want to avoid standing out from nature? Some of them are quite ugly IMO. But others are pretty.

Speaking of grey skies. Not sure yet what I think. We've had enough days with a little bit of sun or at least extra light (mostly cloudy?) to keep me happy, but I know that will change as the fall goes on. Sometimes we get a funky yellow tint to things, which reminds me of stormy weather in IA - but without the storm.

A LOT of stuff remains in boxes. It's very slow going, what with Chris at work all day and tired/uncooperative when he gets home - and Ari uncooperative/HEAVY most of the time. ;)

That's it for now. More later, maybe.

Moving insanity

2010-09-11T13:37:00.004-04:00

So I think it went something like this...

August 18 - Chris announced he had gotten a job. A frenzy began, in order to decide exactly what school district we would go to (though luckily I had been researching this for a while). We had a couple of options, depending on where we could find a rental house.

August 21 - Ari and I flew to Seattle to find a rental property. I had a meltdown upon driving to our hotel. Outpouring of Facebook sympathy followed. Hurray for friends on Facebook. I found a house on the second day but kept looking anyway. Decided I had made the right choice, given the time frame.

August 25 - Flew home. Debated if Chris and Marcus would leave next day on road trip or if Chris would stay and Marcus would fly with me. Opted for the latter.

August 27 - Going-away party, courtesy of my friend Anna (and many guests). :( Was nice to see (almost) everyone. Still couldn't believe I wouldn't see them again for a long time! Packers arrived and packed most of our stuff.

August 28 - Left for Iowa, to see family again before move.

August 30 - Left Des Moines for Seattle. Checked into hotel in Bothell. Movers arrived in Muncie and emptied house.

August 31 - Registered Marcus for kindergarten and went shopping for school supplies and other necessities. Chris left Muncie by car with pets.

September 1 - Marcus started school. Still living in hotel. Bought air mattress and a few other things for camping in rental house.

September 2 - Checked out of hotel. Ordered Internet service. ;) Went a little crazy for a couple of days with no Internet, TV or anything else to do at the house (with two kids).

September 4 (late)- Chris arrived.

September 8 - Moving truck finally arrived.

Currently - Most stuff is still in boxes. I suppose this will be the case for a while. In some ways, this house doesn't have the space of our last one (like for bookcases), even though square footage is similar. There is no attic (that we can use) or garage. Fourth bedroom upstairs is acting as storage space.

September 13 - Chris starts work!

Moving.

2010-08-20T09:35:00.003-04:00

It's been a while. Probably anyone who reads here (my whopping four readers) knows why: birth saga, new baby. I'm not going to go into that now.

I feel like writing this morning though, because we're entering a new chapter in our lives, and I'm not feeling so great about it.

A week ago, I still felt positive, I think. It hadn't become real yet. We're moving to Seattle. We're leaving the Midwest for a wet, toned-down-but-still-northern climate. I'm leaving my friends. I'm leaving right at the start of fall, my favorite season here. I'm leaving when I never really got over the depressive funk I've been in for the last year, and I will have no one (well, almost no one) there to lean on. I've got to perk up and start over with new people - or stay home and be depressed.

This morning, I got up and took Ari outside. It was 70 degrees. Summer isn't really over yet here - temps are still getting up into the 80s most days (but starting to cool off). I love it when it's about 80/65. In Seattle, it's cooling off as well: highs in the upper 60s to occasional low 70s; lows threatening to dip into the 40s. Yikes. Forget going outside in shorts and onesies in the morning. :(

Back when the job search started, I encouraged Portland (which probably would be causing much of the same anxieties now) and various Midwestern cities. Seattle was an afterthought. Chris ended up applying to many jobs in Seattle and Silicon Valley - and almost none in the Midwest. Given those two choices, of course I chose Seattle over dry, soulless SV. But they're both sooooo far from here.

I just have this dull, foreboding feeling now. I am looking forward to certain aspects of Seattle - and getting out of Indiana - but moving still sucks. Big time.

This and that.

2010-01-26T13:39:00.003-05:00

My intention was for my next post to be about the third peak oil book I bought, but I still haven't finished it. First there was all the chaos surrounding Christmas, then New Years', then M's birthday. While trying to read this book, I've also been trying (unsuccessfully) to determine a name for this little girl I'm hauling around, plus read up on birth preparation, deal with unpleasant pregnancy side effects, not to mention the usual insanity that goes on here. (I've also been reading up on more digital cameras, which seems to be a weird obsession of mine). I'm tired, a bit depressed, and just have not gotten very far with the book. I think I'm a little over halfway done. I might also add that this book has been the most difficult of the three to read, in part because the author focuses a lot on towns and activities in the UK. Sometimes I really don't know what he's talking about. (Usually this is just due to some word that isn't used in American English). At other times, I think what he's saying sounds good but that it probably would not translate well to cities here in the US. Maybe that's pessimistic of me. Supposedly there are towns and cities in the US who have signed on with his cause. I would love to be a part of a town that makes the changes he suggests. I think it sounds cool. But I'm not the type of person that can run a project this big and get people motivated. I'm not even sure if some people in this country can be motivated in such a way. They're too defensive of their current lifestyle and/or think that technological advances are going to save everything. *sigh*

Since reading these books, I find myself thinking about post-oil life a lot. I look at the many products around me that will likely not be produced, or will have to be produced differently. I debate buying things (like a cool coffee or espresso machine, for example), and then wonder if it's really worth it, since it takes so much energy and materials to make it - and is dependent on electricity to run. I ask myself if I shouldn't just get used to the coffee from my moka pot instead, since it's a relatively simple product that could be used on a woodstove. It's not as fun and exciting though. It's tempting to buy expensive electrical toys, since we have no idea how long it will be until such things are unaffordable to run. Of course, this doesn't even address how expensive or available coffee will be when transportation is significantly reduced - but why go there. ;)

Part II

2009-12-19T19:54:00.002-05:00

Book #2 is:
Plan C: Community Survival Strategies for Peak Oil and Climate Change
Pat Murphy.

This is the book for people who want statistics. It is a lot more complex than the previous book. There are unfortunately not as many specific tips or guidelines for the average individual to implement. But there are a few different suggestions and areas covered in more detail - such as rough guidelines for retrofitting houses to be more efficient. There is a chapter on the "Smart Jitney" transport system, which is a way to provide rides to people using current cars (a little like a taxi service but more sophisticated and allowing for more people per vehicle). It would significantly reduce the use of private cars. There's a long section on what foods are grown and manufactured in the US (and how bad this all is). There is also a long (and somewhat tedious) section on how terrible the American media is...which I have no doubt is true, at least to some degree. We here in Casa de Lueer do not own a TV, but I watch a number of shows online, and Marcus watches a lot of kids' DVDs (all of which are commercial-free, but provide some influences, I suppose). And of course we are Internet addicts here, with Chris also addicted to reading a lot of news - no doubt censored by biased corporations. Marcus, given the opportunity, would probably spend most of his time either watching shows or playing computer games.

So, in summary, I think that this is an interesting and useful book that can complement "Depletion and Abundance", but if you want one book with a more personable feel and day-to-day suggestions, stick with Sharon Astyk. This one is more...academic.

Three books about upcoming changes.

2009-12-13T18:41:00.003-05:00

I haven't read them all yet. I've read one and am working on another. The subject matter: peak oil, climate change, and what's going to happen next. I think I previously mentioned my urge to take this all seriously. When I get done reading these books, I'll decide where I need to go next in terms of learning and practicing new skills. It may seem a little radical, but I think that ignoring the facts and going about life in the same way we've been doing for years is a mistake. It's better to be prepared, as much as possible.

So, book #1:
Depletion and Abundance: Life on the New Home Front
Sharon Astyk.

This was a fascinating read for me. I'm anxious about this whole subject (not knowing what to expect or how to prepare), and this book gave me some ideas. The author gives some relevant information about peak oil and climate change without going on and on about it, IMO. It has enough info to hopefully inform the average person but isn't heavily laden with statistics (I believe book #2 in my list is better in that regard). It's personable, written from the POV of a mother wanting to protect the next generation - which we're sadly not doing. It does have a slight peppy "Kum ba yah" feel to it at times, when she's heavily promoting the importance of small communities and neighbors - but this may be just some cynicism on my part, having grown up without such relationships. I have no doubt that they will be more important in a post fossil fuel life.

Thanksgiving - and Christmas

2009-11-26T19:07:00.004-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! This year, I made quiche, my favorite stuffing, cheesy mashed potatoes, caesar salad, and cherry pie. I took the easy route and bought pre-made crusts. (I also have various berries to make berry pie when the cherry one is gone - I didn't have enough pie pans to make it now. Mmmmm).

A friend of mine who was due last April said it was great to be pregnant this time of year because she (and now I) could freely partake in the holiday goodies and not feel too bad about it. I disagree. All my internal organs are being rammed upward, and digestion is slow. I'm now six hours post-meal and still feel a bit uncomfortable. And it wasn't like I stuffed myself as much as I have in the past either. On top of this, I have a nasty cold, rendering me constantly dehydrated, yet I can't fit any more water in my stomach without burping half of it up again. *sigh*

I feel as though I must revisit the Christmas subject. As I mentioned, I've been working on the decluttering - though there is still more to be done. I haven't even started on Marcus's stuff yet. I am really hoping that any relatives who would like to buy toys for him will search for things that are quality, long-lasting, made of renewable sources (i.e. little or no plastic), and not battery-operated. (You might have to look online for these things if there are no cool small toy stores nearby). I've developed an aversion to plastic, junky toys - even if they are educational ones. I bought him a Leapster for his birthday last January, and it has had problems (resetting, freezing up) practically since the beginning. These products just aren't built to last, and then you have a big wasteful thing going into the landfill.

Art/writing supplies are good, as he likes to draw and write (and paint, but that's dependent on being supervised). Things that encourage imagination, learning, and independence appeal to me. He needs to learn to do more on his own, especially since I'm going to have less time to spend with him come spring. More books are always good. He also likes age-appropriate activity books. He did some of these in Germany over the summer, with activities like matching pictures with their first letters, determining differences between two similar pictures, putting action pictures in order, etc.

For me...I'm drawing a blank (especially with a whiny Marcus repeatedly talking in my ear). I really don't need a lot of gifts. Edible stuff is always good (not that I need it, ha) - cookies, whoopies, See's chocolate (milk chocolate bordeaux and raspberry cremes are faves), and jelly fruit candies from Cranberry Sweets all sound good right now. I've held off buying handmade soaps for the most part, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like getting more of them (choice scents/ingredients: citrus fruits, coconut, mango, olive oil, shea butter, vanilla - I seem to like soaps that sound edible, LOL). If you're into gift cards: Starbucks, JCPenney (for maternity clothes) and Amazon are useful.

And for anyone who hasn't caught up on Facebook...I'm expecting a girl! It's sort of a foreign concept after raising a boy. ;)

Cheers - enjoy the leftovers!

Mea Culpa

2009-11-11T17:58:00.002-05:00

Lately I have been undertaking a mass decluttering project. I bought a couple of books to inspire me. One is Throw Out Fifty Things, which I'm nearly done with, and the other is Clutter Busting, which is next on the reading list.

Today I took five boxes of stuff to Goodwill. I suspect it won't be the only trip. I've also recycled a bunch of old papers. But the thing I really feel bad about is the stuff I have to throw away. I hate that I am putting some crap in a landfill somewhere. Today's contribution: several pairs of old shoes. At least they were worn. Sometimes the things I have to throw out are just junky crap that I shouldn't have accumulated in the first place. After decluttering, the #2 lesson is don't buy more junk.

Check this out (and watch the video)...

2009-10-07T20:39:00.001-04:00

The Road to Copenhagen

Getting started.

2009-09-06T17:38:00.003-04:00

Last month, I wrote about the "thinking green" idea, and then I dropped the ball. Well, I had a lot of my mind at the time. I was suffering immensely, due to morning sickness and lack of the food I wanted. It is a terrible thing to deny a pregnant woman the food she wants, especially when most food sounds nauseating. But there I was, gagging on food I (mostly) didn't want and counting the days until I could come home. It was a happy day when I could go to Panera and order exactly what I needed. Anyway, now I am 11 weeks along (due end of March), and while I am still tired and cranky, at least I can eat whatever sounds good. ;)

Now...the green stuff. I haven't started on any of the survival skills yet. I've just begun modifying some of the products I use. Changes thus far:

*Shampoo/soap/toothpaste/deodorant/etc. I actually have been cutting nasty conventional products out of my collection for a while. I don't buy anything with parabens, SLS, and the like. I'm now learning to identify more petroleum-based ingredients and avoid them. Brands to check out (though these are not all perfect): Kiss My Face, Burt's Bees, JASON, Tom's of Maine, Alba. KMF is my favorite for a lot of things. Also, anyone who knows me knows I'm a fan of homemade, all-natural bar soap. It's better for you, it doesn't have a bunch of junk in it, and there's no plastic bottle. Someday I hope to try my hand at making my own.

*Shower Curtain. I decided to replace my nasty plastic shower curtain (which emits toxic fumes) with a fabric one. Best choices here: organic cotton or hemp. The hemp ones cost a lot more. Cotton ones are available for $35-40. I have yet to find out how often it will need to be washed to keep it looking nice. I can't wait for it to get here. Oh, I also ordered a cotton shower mat - without the questionable rubbery stuff on the bottom.

*Shower head. I have no idea how much water comes out our current shower head, but I ordered a contraption that removes chlorine from the shower water, and it also has a reduced-flow shower head. Will let you know how that turns out. I also bought a little ball thing that hangs on the tub faucet to remove chlorine there too. Just sounded like a good idea.

*Cleaners. Conventional cleaners for the house have all kinds of evil things in them - chemicals that are bad for the environment, chemicals that are derived from petroleum, etc. I bought a few bottled things (laundry detergent, dish/dishwasher soaps, general cleaners) but I am also interested in using simple substances: baking soda, vinegar, castile soap. I got rid of all my chlorine bleach and will never again buy cleaners with bleach. "Oxygen bleach", however, is okay. Oxyclean is an example of a product that uses an oxygen bleach. Hydrogen peroxide acts similarly.

*Shower timer. I found a nice little model that doesn't require any batteries and has an hourglass that lasts five minutes. You put this in your shower, and you get out when the hourglass is done. I think I will have no problem with it, but certain readers might. You know who you are.

I think that's about it for now. Other items on my agenda: replacing old nonstick cookware, buying recycled paper products, getting houseplants (I am not good at keeping houseplants alive, and we do not have much light in our house, but we'll see), more aggressive composting, attic insulation, new cutting board (mine are plastic), and other miscellaneous things. I'm sure there will be more. I'm not done with the book yet.

For more information, check out Easy Living Green . I have another similar book, called Big Green Purse, but I haven't read it yet and can't give any review. I really like Easy Living Green. Very informative, with lots of suggestions.

Thinking green.

2009-08-10T09:19:00.003-04:00

I seem to need some kind of big research project or goal in order to function. Without something specific like this, I become bored. Of course, the biggest one of these in my life has been the umbrella of 'health' - including exercise prescription, diets of all sorts, weight loss, running, weight training, and so on. I am still interested in these things, of course (mainly vegetarian/pescetarian diets and what is best for long-term wellness), but I think that my focus is shifting somewhat. I'm becoming even more interested in two areas: green living and basic living skills. I want to feel more self-reliant. I want to feel as though I am making the best decisions (for our health and the environment) that we can afford to make. As I learn more about these things, I'll probably post items I feel strongly about (and maybe add a link section, seeing that book I am currently reading has tons of them).

I recently finished a book called The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight, and it was kind of freaky. There are so many things that we are doing to screw up the environment, which I knew already, but it is disturbing to read all the statistics right there in one place. The title refers to the end of oil, which will be coming fairly soon and will undoubtedly change life as we currently know it. If you think about all the foods you eat, how they are produced, and where they come from, it is a little unnerving to imagine what will happen to you when much of that food is not being produced or transported around the world. Alternatively, we will start using fuels which are even worse than the oil now (more coal, more nuclear), and the environment will even more quickly go to hell. It is just bound to be a huge mess. I have to remind myself that this is still years away, and there is time to make changes - starting as soon as I get back home from Germany. ;)

Jonesin' for sweet tea

2009-05-25T12:22:00.009-04:00

I found some tasty latte pictures on the 'net. Let's hope nobody comes after me for using their photos. ;)

BUT...the fact is, I've been drinking way more sweet iced tea lately than lattes.

Looks inviting, doesn't it?

While searching for a nice iced tea picture, I came across this tastiness:

Blueberry Lemon Iced Tea

Yum. Gonna have to try that soon.

It's nearly summer!

2009-05-25T12:22:00.005-04:00

Seems that my one follower is disappointed that I'm no longer blogging. ;)

So, what's new here...

I planted eight raspberry plants (two red, six black) about a month ago. One of them is doing very well. Several others grew some but then kind of stalled, so I don't know what's happening. And then there are one or two that probably will never amount to anything.

I applied a heavy recycled paper ground cover (as opposed to plastic) on the garden, in the attempt to minimize the weeds, but it has not stood up to the deluge of rain and wind we've had in the past few weeks. My second idea is to cover what remains with leftover leaf mulch. I'm not sure if this is a practical idea...but I don't really want plastic, chemicals or weeds.

I'm really hoping for raspberries next year. It's kind of a downer to plant something that won't produce now, but at least it's fun to see the plants grow.

Our pool opens later than expected - next weekend. Marcus starts summer preschool (two mornings a week) tomorrow. So things should pick up around here. We'll probably spend a lot of time at the pool.

Of course, when I think of pools, I think of swimsuits (and then I think of dieting). Alas, the crusade to lose weight before swimsuit season failed. I lost a couple of pounds but nothing to get excited about. I'm still plugging along, and I guess a slight weight loss is better than nothing.

Marcus is now a fairly good tricycle rider. I've been considering buying a bike with a tandem trailer (like this) so that we can ride together. I'm just not sure if I'm a strong enough cyclist (what with the crappy knees) to pull a trailer+kid if he can't or won't do enough. We have a bike trail not too far from here that goes north and south of town, so it could be fun to get into riding, if my body would cooperate.

That's about it for now...

Something to think about.

2009-03-23T16:28:00.004-04:00

Chris Jordan Photography

There are some mindblowing things on his site. Makes me want to figure out how to acquire less packaging and stuff in general. Even the pictures depicting recycling was kind of depressing (think the big blocks of garbage in WALL-E). The resources that Americans (and probably the world in general) use are just incredible and nauseating. And most people just don't care.

Click.

2009-03-06T16:01:00.002-05:00

I had an a-ha moment. A CFL bulb going off, if you will. I think I need to get into environmental activism in some way...or maybe eventually some job that will do good in that area. The current situation freaks me out, and it makes sense that the only way to feel a little better about it is to do something.

Check this out: Surviving the coming century

That article is just damn depressing, if you ask me. So why do so many people not care? I really don't get it. (Chris joked about "buying that summer house in Canada now" - not a terribly bad idea, actually).

I am somewhat optimistic that President Obama will get this show on the road. His environmental plans are here. It remains to be seen whether he can get these changes through congress though. I wrote my congresspeople today. But I feel as if that's only a tiny contribution. I have to figure out what else I can do.

Trickery.

2009-02-11T17:11:00.002-05:00

The storm is over...
The sun is shining...
And it feels like spring.

Bwahahahahaha!

Not.

Actually, we have another round of storms coming. Gotta go shut the windows.

Here's the thing...

2009-02-06T14:26:00.002-05:00

I've been blogging somewhere else. It's related to my health and weight, which is how this blog started (but then my co-bloggers abandoned the project). So I really don't have as much need to write here. I'm focused on things right now that I don't care to publish here. I'm not going to shut it down, because I sometimes feel like ranting about something, sharing travel plans, or checking the other blogs in my list. Just don't be surprised if long periods go by without any posts. I'm taking a break. :)

Home and cold.

2009-01-11T09:04:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year! We spent our New Year in ~85 degree weather on a gorgeous beach. Nice way to spend January, if you ask me. The food there left something to be desired IMO, but that was not entirely a bad thing, as I came home weighing less than when I left. Interesting concept: beach vacation plus weight loss plan. Now I just have to avoid gaining it back in birthday cake. ;) We got home on Marcus's birthday, but the "party" (using that term loosely) is today.

Anyway, more on the DR. We spent the majority of our days at the local beach, which was fairly busy but not crowded. We stayed in a small hotel that was clean and well-built but spartan. All of the employees (except the German owners) were Dominican and spoke little to no English. We felt like we were on our own most of the time, as far as figuring out where to go and what to do. So, one of the days, we visited the nearby city of La Romana. Another day, we went on a day trip in a big truck around the nearby farms and towns. And the last full day we were there, we went on a day trip to the island of Saona, which was a nice conclusion to the trip. The snorkeling was great! The new little waterproof camera that I bought got its full test during this trip...and unsurprisingly, the fast/dark shots were not very impressive (but probably not any worse than our old, larger Nikon Coolpix). The beach pics all turned out very well.

We got home late Friday night, and although it was cold, the reality of it didn't really hit me, because it was night. Yesterday morning was a jolt. The dark, grey morning (complete with freezing rain) felt very gloomy. I miss the bright colorful mornings in the DR - and the sea air, which I always enjoy. I think it might take me a while to get back into the swing of things here and feel normal again.

Merry Christmas / Frohe Weihnachten!

2008-12-25T21:19:00.003-05:00

Another year nearly gone. Funny how it doesn't seem so long ago that we were having a similar Christmas here. We didn't stick to the Chinese food tradition this year. We bought some Trader Joe's pizzas and had those for dinner. (We also had smoothies and some Einstein bagels for breakfast - yum).

Food. Yeah, it's always about the food. I now have two years worth of nearly-daily weights recorded on here, and the general trend is up. There were a couple of times my weight went up and didn't recover, though it's hard to tell on the graph exactly when those times were. Oh well. As I look in near-horror at the unpleasant Christmas morning pics (worsened by the greasy bedhead and baggy PJs), I can only attempt to accept what currently is, and move on. There is no point in getting emotional about it. It hasn't helped much in the past. In five days, we will be flying into warmer locales, and as much as I hate my swimsuit and the fact that I have not lost weight for this vacation, I refuse to let it spoil what may be a once-in-a-lifetime trip (though who knows - if we really like it, perhaps we'll go back someday).

Shortly before Christmas, I finally bought a camera. (I've been obsessing over this for quite some time, and I'm not done yet). I first bought a Canon Powershot A720 from a guy on eBay, and it had a couple of problems - very scratched bottom surface, and defective video. So I went back to the drawing board, wondering (again) which camera was the best choice - and I finally succumbed to buying a waterproof Pentax W60. It should be fun for the trip. Now I'm debating if I want to buy an SLR or not. It's tempting...but I'm not sure how often I'd use it, since it's so much larger, heavier, and more delicate. There are also a couple of medium-sized/bridge cameras with big zoom lenses that are tempting. If money were no object, I think I'd have several cameras. LOL Anyway, the W60 was sort of a present for both Chris and me. This is because (I thought) we were going to keep our gift spending for each other down this year. But no...

Chris bought me a netbook (a mini-laptop). It's an Asus Eee 901, which has to have one of the smallest keyboards I've ever used (but they actually have smaller ones). I guess this size is a compromise between an even tinier keyboard (or just a touch keyboard, like the iPhone/iPod Touch) - and a larger netbook. The 10" one with a bigger keyboard is really appealing, but I suppose it wouldn't fit in my bag as well. I don't know. It's a cute little machine though, and I'd been very recently thinking about something like this...so I guess the man figured it out before I got loud about it. ;) If you don't understand the point of a geek toy like this...well, it's so I can get online in places that have free wireless Internet (which are becoming more and more plentiful). The netbook fits in my bag, so I can take it wherever and whenever I want. It also has some other software installed - I haven't had the chance to look at everything yet. Woot!

Thanks to everyone for the Christmas loot! :)

This and that.

2008-12-12T12:09:00.005-05:00

I have a friend who posts little witty/amusing things that her kids say. (Her blog is in the blog list - napjunkiemom). I've been letting these slide past recently, without writing them down, with the exception of one:

Me: You're such a gigglebox!
Marcus: I'm not a box! I'm Marcus! With feet. And bodies.

On the lung front: mine are fine. No asthma. I had a cold (with a little wheezing) that started right before I had the methacholine test, which lasted about a week or so - and then a couple of days after that one was over, I caught another one. So there's something fishy about my immune system, and therein lies a big goal for this winter: to avoid being sick all the time. We're increasing the smoothies again (lots of dark berries!) and might attempt to make a few other dietary changes. I'm also trying to exercise more (which I was doing before the whole bronchitis/wheezing saga started). I went to yoga yesterday, which was nice. I'd like to do that more often. I suspect that the YMCA is the only place in town with yoga (*sigh*), and it only meets 2x a week - Tuesday night and Thursday morning. I'm tempted to get some yoga DVDs. So if anyone wants to research them and buy me one (or more) good ones for Christmas, that would be a good plan. Some sites to check out:
Someone's top 10 list
Interesting site (that Yoga kids ages 3-6 years looks cute!)

Christmas. Yeah. I'm seriously lacking enthusiasm this year. It's now the 12th and we haven't gotten a tree yet. If Chris were the only one in charge, I don't think we'd ever get one. I feel sort of obligated though, if only for Marcus. He should enjoy Christmas. We have some shopping to do this afternoon, and I think we will get a tree then.

Freya (the kitten) seems to be adjusting fine. (Thanks to Dad for the name suggestion, but I couldn't quite see her as a Memphis - and this name fits in with the name of our other cat). She had an "accident" in the beginning, but now she seems to be going where she is supposed to go. Loki still doesn't like her much, but the hissing has lessened significantly. LOL They often eat out of each others' food bowls now. Phantom, who has been undergoing many weeks of chemotherapy, has his last treatment next week. He's done very well - hopefully he'll live a few more years with no recurrence.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T09:11:00.004-05:00

To follow up on the previous post, I found this commentary while looking for Sarah Palin's response to her video (which I didn't find, but I'm sure it's out there somewhere). Alternet Yeah, the title is kind of a joke in this case, because the point of the article is that in spite of seeing that video (not to mention much worse abuse elsewhere), people will go ahead and eat that bird anyway. No surprise there. But hey, maybe a few people out there were turned off to eating turkey after watching it - which is something.

Anyway...my food plans today, after throwing together a quick menu last night (oh, and turning down an invite to a friend's house, because the husbands didn't really want to, bah), are the following: hot mulled cider, from The Barefoot Contessa; salad; stuffing, a recipe from Bittman's How to Cook Everything, which we really like; mashed potatoes and mac & cheese, both untried recipes from Burros' Cooking for Comfort; and raspberry-blueberry pie, featured here. I just noticed that I may have to find a different crust though, because I didn't buy sour cream. Damn. Oh well, there are endless pie crust recipes out there. BTW, I found a non-hydrogenated shortening, which makes me a happy camper! No trans fats here!

And finally, we have a new resident, as yet unnamed:
[snip cute little kitty picture]
She and Loki are still not getting along, but I remain optimistic. ;)

Gobble Gobble?

2008-11-22T11:55:00.004-05:00

Here's an interesting interview with Sarah Palin, while at a turkey farm. video

As for Thanksgiving here...I guess we're not doing anything. Maybe we'll go out to eat; I think we did that two years ago. I was in Indianapolis yesterday but didn't manage to get to Whole Foods. I was going to see if they had a seitan loaf like I bought in IA last year. Maybe we'll go back again this week.

Animal welfare on Oprah (a bit late on my part)

2008-11-14T12:13:00.005-05:00

Oprah had a show last month about Proposition 2 and animal welfare. It compared conventional and free-range farming. Click here (I don't know how long this will be on the site!)

It is my opinion (and I haven't researched this very much - it just seems like common sense) that the US can't continue to eat the current amount of animal products if we're going to raise them in more humane and environmentally-friendly ways. Alternatively, a very large number of people would have to return to a more rural lifestyle (have many more small farms) but I'm not sure if that would ever happen. The people against Proposition 2 argued that passing it meant eggs would become too expensive, and we would start importing cheap eggs from other countries. That really annoys me. IMO, the obvious alternatives are to pay more money for eggs, eat fewer of them, or get some chickens. How hard is that to figure out? I also question whether all the egg producers in CA would really go out of business, because there may be demand for their eggs in the rest of the country (at least until other states get it together). But we shall see.

Not over 'til it's over (but...)

2008-11-12T12:45:00.003-05:00

The way this pulmonary testing works is you first take the less expensive tests - and if you fail those, you're done. If you pass those (and still have the problem), you move on to more expensive tests. Well, I have passed the first round of tests. Today, I had a pulmonary function test, and it was normal. However, since it possible for an asthmatic to pass this test, I have to take a less pleasant one, AKA the methacholine challenge. My chest x-ray (taken earlier) was also relatively normal, so the next step is a CT scan.

However...given all the known details, the pulmonologist thinks it is likely that the coughing and wheezing is simply "postinfectious cough". We won't know until these other tests are done. But regardless, it is a little comforting that I passed the test today. I felt rather pessimistic going into it.

Comments on comments.

2008-11-11T21:33:00.001-05:00

Re: visiting the DR. I guess a long time ago, I mentioned that I'd like to visit the Caribbean. Surely you can all appreciate a warm beach, especially during the winter. And I love those gorgeous pictures of bright, clear, calm water. Anyway, the DR is theoretically one of the less expensive places to go. I didn't actually compare prices with any other islands, but that was what Chris suggested. As far as other places I'd like to visit, most of them are more expensive (i.e. Hawaii, New Zealand/Australia, Ireland, Florida Keys). I found a nice little hotel (owned by Germans!) in a fishing village, with enough restaurants and excursions to keep us amused - though I'd be happy just lounging on the beach with a book the whole time. Marcus, of course, will need a little more stimulation. ;)

The camera I bought for Marcus cost a total of $25 - so not a big investment if it gets trashed (which was the whole point, LOL). It is still functioning after the drop on the patio. However, it eats up batteries, especially as long as he leaves it on! Also, his earliest pics were the best. Later, he just snapped closeup shots of his DVD player and my computer screen. Not great pictures. LOL But I do like his perspectives and enthusiasm overall.

Re: Beggars Night. Oddly, we had more people this year too. It was pretty cool actually. I was surprised at how few kids came last year, since I remember huge masses of kids trick-or-treating when I was that age. I handed out some leftover candy that I had lying around - not really great stuff - so perhaps I'll invest in some better goodies next year. ;)

Tomorrow is my pulmonology appt. I'll report back.

One beautiful fall day.

2008-11-06T16:27:00.006-05:00

Let me just say first off that I am very very glad that Obama won the election! I am also pleased that both Indiana and Iowa helped elect him. (The Iowa part is a jab towards my very conservative BIL, who is presumably not happy about this - Hahaha! is what I have to say to him). I didn't even know about the propositions happening out in CA until after the fact. It's pretty pathetic that they passed Prop 8 (thus prohibiting gay marriage). You'd think that CA would be open-minded about that kind of thing. They did however, pass Prop 2, which prohibits battery cages and other nasty animal torture devices. So that's something.

Marcus and I are currently sitting outside on what is surely the last unnaturally warm day of the year (well, maybe not, but certainly the last 70-something degree day). It is mostly clear and still 70 degrees at 4:30 pm. Gotta love it. We have our munchies, drinks and electronic devices. All is well. LOL

[snip pics of us chillin' on the patio]

Marcus got a new camera. Or rather, I ordered him a used camera. ;) It's nothing spectacular..rather pitiful actually, as far as digital cameras go. But it allows him to practice, and he occasionally gets some cool shots. I have uploaded some of the better ones to Flickr. Just ignore the bad ones of me. ;)

Plans are in the works to visit the Dominican Republic (aka DR) in January. I'm excited about this. We've been wanting to go there for quite some time, and I feel like it's been a while since we've gone on a trip that didn't involve visiting family (not that seeing family is a bad thing). So I'm fairly sure that we will not be visiting family at Christmas - and most likely not Thanksgiving either. But I'm not sure yet.

We're all sick with a cold here (me not so much, and Marcus is getting better), and I even had a root canal this morning... but with such a gorgeous day and things going well, I currently feel, well...pretty good. It's a weird feeling.

P.S. And then...we went in to get the camera and discovered that he had used up the batteries which I just bought yesterday (no automatic off on the camera). A few minutes later, he dropped the camera on the patio. Let's hope it isn't broken. *sigh*

This and that.

2008-11-01T22:51:00.003-04:00

Happy belated Halloween! We took Marcus out for his very first trick-or-treat night, and it went very well. He had no problem going up to the houses. He did, however, get more quiet after the first few. And then, after a couple of streets, he said "I want to go home. I have enough candy." LOL! In my day, there was no such thing as "enough candy". ;)

Update on the medical hoopla: for the time being, I have "uncontrolled asthma" (per the internist's referral to the pulmonologist, whom I see in a couple of weeks). I'd say it's controlled at the moment though, since I'm on meds for it. I'm still coughing a bit, but so is everyone else in our household. The next step would be to try to exercise again and see that how that goes, but it's kind of tough with the coughing.

The weird thing I've noticed lately is that I don't feel bad in the same way I used to. I went through a couple weeks of being really sick and coughing all night, and I felt extremely crappy then...but once the bad coughing stopped, I still kept staying up a little later than usual, and I don't seem to have the same degree of FMS symptoms as before. I still feel a lot weaker than I used to (one of my usual symptoms), but of course I haven't been using my muscles as much either - so it's hard to say. It's just nice to have a little extra time after Marcus goes to bed, rather than needing every minute of sleep time that he gets for myself as well.

The Lost Eight Years

2008-10-17T12:30:00.002-04:00

What has the USA done?

still sick...but tolerating it better

2008-10-17T11:17:00.003-04:00

Well, I still have some bronchitis (or at least the cough following the bronchitis). I'm still taking a couple of medications. I have a feeling that the meds are the only thing allowing me to sleep at night. If this isn't gone by next Friday (when I see my doc again), I'll be off to the pulmonologist. Let's hope not.

I feel as though I've missed out on some of the fall activities due to being sick. The temps here took a nosedive recently, but it's still sunny on most days, and we probably should be out visiting more orchards and such. Soon, maybe. I think I need to read more about immune-enhancing food/supplements, so I don't experience a repeat of last winter.

Addenum

2008-10-08T16:10:00.003-04:00

1. I survived the yard work. Almost makes me optimistic. Honestly though, I spent most of the time sitting on the ground weeding. ;)
2. Becky's gift arrived - a book on organic food gardening. Great choice!
3. I now have an arsenal of drugs for my bronchitis. Hopefully it will clear up soon. I am not getting enough sleep!!
4. I also got a card and some yummy chocolate from another friend here (Sohee).

Birthday proceedings

2008-10-06T19:53:00.004-04:00

Happy belated birthday to me. It was an interesting birthday. I am now on day 13 of a raging case of bronchitis, and so the birthday proceedings were tainted a bit, but otherwise it was a good day. We all went to El Torito Grill for the big brunch buffet, which was really good. (By some miracle, I did not weigh more this morning). Then Chris surprised me with a Segway tour. This is not something I ever expressed an interest in doing, but he has joked about it on several occasions, and it sounded kind of fun. So I went on the Segway tour (of the Canal Walk area in Indianapolis) while Chris and Marcus putzed around the park/canal. I didn't even know that area existed - it's pretty cool. Oh, and after several cooler days, I think the temps reached the low 80s. The weather was perfect!

We had nice weather today too (not quite as warm), and Marcus helped me weed a patch of the front garden that I want to cover in mulch. The last time (or two) that I did gardening/yard work, I paid for it for days afterwards. I really hope that this will not be the case again...but if so, I may have to accept that doing this kind of work just isn't possible for me, unless I can find a way to beat the FMS into submission. I'm kind of depressed about the whole thing...but what can I do. Not much.

While I've been sick, I've generally done even less than usual with Marcus. Sure, we've gone to a couple of playdates (although I feel guilty coughing so much - like I'm sure everyone would prefer I stay home). And we've done a couple of things outside, like today. But generally, I've been very inactive, and he's spent a lot of time watching movies/cartoons. I feel guilty about this. Am I a bad parent if my child spends a large portion of the day watching shows? Am I rotting his brain? He just isn't inclined to find things to do on his own for very long. He needs attention. I can't even read books out loud very well at the moment; it just causes more coughing. Surely I'm no worse than the parents who plant their kids in front of the TV for hours a day - but I don't think very highly of such parents either. Maybe it's just a matter of M's age, and the fact that he's an only child. There will come a time when he can find more to do on his own than electronic amusement. Right? Tell me it is so! ;)

Birthday goodies...Amazon gift certificate from my MIL (gotta love those), a Starbucks card from Mom (feeding the latte habit!), cash from Dad, yummy soap from Allison (from Herbaria soap), fun day out from Chris, lunch today from Anna, birthday cupcakes from Danielle (the only cake I got!), a Target gift card from Amber, and something yet to be received (most likely a book) from the Beckster. Woot!

This and that

2008-09-25T16:38:00.002-04:00

As it gets closer to the election day, I find myself getting more riled up. I really can't understand why anyone with any common sense (yes that is a jab) would want to vote for McCain and Palin. Maybe Obama and Biden are not the perfect candidates (I know my platform is a bit different than theirs) but they are miles better than McCain/Palin. I'm very nervous about what is going to happen if those two Republicans end up in the White House. It fills me with feelings of confusion. I identify fairly strongly with being American, and there are some cities/areas here I think I would love to live, but it's also very tempting to move someplace where the people actually get it. I thought the previous two election fiascos were bad enough, but if McCain wins, I have to think that the majority of Americans don't have a clue what is important.

But anyway...

In more mundane matters, I am trying to decide what to do about my yard. Last year, I had an overgrowth of some kind of weed, and I pulled a bunch of them (quite a bit of work) and planted new grass seed. This year, the crabgrass has totally taken over. I think large portions of the front yard are entirely crabgrass. From what I've read, this has largely to do with mowing technique. Somewhere along the line, I, or the guy we hired in July, scalped the lawn and set the stage for crabgrass to run wild (in theory anyway). Now I don't know what to do about it. I still don't want to spray everything. There are seedheads everywhere. I'm tempted to totally scalp and bag it all, and then plant more grass seed, but I don't know if that would work. Any tips?

First day of preschool

2008-09-04T17:55:00.003-04:00

Today was Marcus's first official (unaccompanied) day of preschool. It went great! He didn't freak out when I dropped him off, and he didn't particularly want to leave when I arrived to pick him up. Hurray for a happy kid!

So I got nearly three hours to myself. Imagine. My original plan was to go to the gym, but I really didn't want to go. I think it had something to do with wearing (in public) my ugly workout clothes which were originally purchased when I was 20+ pounds lighter. So instead, I used the bike for 20 minutes and stretched afterwards.

It's amazing how quickly three hours can pass. ;)

Visiting Iowa

2008-09-02T16:26:00.004-04:00

The past week had its ups and downs. Marcus and I went to Iowa for five days. We stayed at my sister's house again and dealt with some problems there - particularly the fact that my close-minded, conservative BIL and I got into a couple of debates (and I use that term loosely) that went nowhere. It is very stressful dealing with a person who refuses to believe in global warming, oil shortages or mass meat production pollution. Can we say denial? I understand that there are many uninformed people out there. But when the information is right in front of someone, and they adamantly refuse to accept it, that's just scary to me.

We did, however, get to see a lot of family members, including a couple of unexpected ones. The party for Dad's 70th went well. The kids had a great time there. We also visited Sun Valley Lake, which was not as kid-friendly, but at least the boys (Marcus and his cousin Tyler) liked the boat. They hung out there most of the afternoon. Our cousin Daniel, on Mom's side, has a new (2 month old) son, so that was neat. He was a fairly quiet baby and tolerated the visit better than Marcus would have at that age. Daniel seems to be very happy as a new dad.

On another note...I've been feeling a certain restlessness lately, and it only intensified while I was there. This sort of reminds me of the way I felt several years ago, shortly before I shaved my head. I need some kind of change. I'm not sure what it will be yet. But I plan on keeping my hair, for now. ;)

Allison has started up with Weight Watchers again (though she took a vacation from the diet while we were there). I've been reading a little about it and think I might implement some of the guidelines from the Core Plan. I don't intend to pay for Weight Watchers meetings though. If anything, I'll check out the local TOPS groups (there are five in town). It costs a lot less to join TOPS than WW - and it seems as though one of the largest benefits is the meetings.

new items

2008-08-16T15:36:00.003-04:00

I'm adding blog links...and maybe some other links I find interesting and want to read. Nice to have all the goodies all in one place. I've also added labels to all the posts, so it will be easier to find things.

Stuff revisited: gifts.

2008-08-16T13:39:00.004-04:00

You may recall the post about the "Story of Stuff" video. (If not, it's posted in January '08). I've been thinking more about this lately. I can't recall at the moment what brought it to my attention, although I do remember reading sites about The Compact and reducing one's ecological impact. Just this morning, I was reading about how much worse air travel is than other types of travel (in terms of carbon output and effect on the environment) which makes me feel a little guilty about the upcoming trip to Iowa. Unfortunately, Amtrak doesn't go to Des Moines, or I'd consider that option. I guess the next best thing would be to buy (or rent) a hybrid car.

However, that isn't the focus of today's post. I'm actually starting to think about fall/winter holidays, because I know that others soon will be. Also, my birthday is coming up in less than two months. ;) Many of my possessions that I would like to find new homes for (or in some cases have already given away) were gifts. I feel guilty about doing this. I really think that the Christmas gift season is overkill and wish my family members would get on board with creating some new traditions (I'm open to ideas). But if you insist upon giving gifts, here are a few suggestions that won't result in more excess stuff:

1) Homemade soap. Yeah, I already have more than necessary for the next couple of years, but it's an enjoyable, harmless, and not terribly expensive addiction; and you're probably supporting some stay-at-home-mom if you buy from the right place. (I keep wanting to try soapmaking myself, but haven't gotten around to it - so some nice wooden molds would be cool. See this site). I am not interested in commercial/retail soap for the most part. Soap should have only a handful of ingredients: oils/fats, sodium hydroxide, essential oils, and maybe goat's milk. If it contains a list of chemicals, it's no good. Yummy scents: berries, apricot, lavendar, oatmeal, mango, citrus, vanilla, green tea, pomegranate, apple. Unappealing: mints, rosemary, patchouli, melon, cucumber, strong florals.

2) Books or other items from my Amazon wishlist. I haven't updated this lately, but I will attempt to do so one of these days. I haven't given up buying books. ;)

3) Edibles. Chocolate (preferably 40-60% cocoa). Raw nuts. Dried tart cherries. Freeze dried fruits. Whole grain cookies or breads. Think whole, minimally processed foods.

If you dare to use your imagination, keep in mind that whatever it is should have as little packaging and as few chemicals as possible. If it's made from petroleum, it had better be very useful and/or very cool. Natural, biodegradable materials (solid wood, organic cotton, etc) are usually best. High-quality, long-term usable things are better than things that will fall apart in a year or two - otherwise, stick with something else that won't end up in the landfill. There aren't many things I really want/need, and if I think of some, I'll mention them. BTW, the same can be said for toys for Marcus. Please look for innovative, clever toys - not just another plastic Fisher-Price light show. He likes puzzles with cartoon characters or cool photos on them. Movies on DVD are also fine - but we already own quite a few, so ask before you buy.

I will be keeping these things in mind when it comes to buying for others too. If you're apt to receive any gifts from me (as opposed to the random readers who show up here, LOL), you might want to give some input as to what environmentally friendly stuff you would like. ;)

The diet situation.

2008-08-10T17:40:00.004-04:00

Oh yeah, forgot to mention...I gained a few pounds in Germany. No big surprise. I ate three big meals a day (prepared by Illi, my MIL), including large amounts of bread and cheese. (She made vegetarian entrees for me, but she apparently felt that if something was meat-free, it just had to have cheese in it). And don't forget the best part: the cakes. Also, in the last week or so that we were there, she ventured to a nearby whole-wheat bakery, where they had some really tasty cinnamon twisty things (referred to as "Hörnchen", I believe, or little horns). They didn't have any icing either, so one could pretend one was eating healthy while inhaling them. I'm not so sure. ;)

My latest read is "The Raw Food Detox Diet" by Natalia Rose. I've been looking for something like this. It's not all raw. It has various levels, based on what you're ready to do. So it has been very interesting so far. The book has a few concepts that I think are a little extreme though, so as with everything else, I will take what I need and leave the rest. ;) But hopefully this will lead me in the direction I want to go.

The gardening experiment...

2008-08-08T12:48:00.006-04:00

...was a failure. But live and learn, right? I think I need a live gardening coach, preferably a pro in organic gardening. I need an apprenticeship. We're not going to make if it we ever become dependent on our garden for food. ;)

First of all, the weeds have totally taken over. There is one in particular (I don't know the name) which is all over the garden and around the yard. I really don't like the idea of applying chemicals, but I would like to have a yard without a huge amount of weeds, or at least appealing-looking weeds. My in-laws yard has a lot of weeds, but it doesn't look bad. Our yard is just ugly. It's overwhelming.

Being gone for over a month means that the weeds in the garden are huge. I feel tired just looking at it, before even contemplating weeding. I don't think it's worth the effort to bother at this point.

Sadly, the raspberries are lost. There were only six or seven tiny branches poking out of the ground, and only two had any leaves when I left. They might still be there, but if so, they're indistinguishable from weeds right now. For all I know, some critter may have come along and eaten the tiny leaves. I am rather irritated at the nursery for even selling these plants. Despite the nursery's rather simple instructions, I don't think the plants would have made it without some major babying. I guess newbie gardeners like me need to buy big established plants - and pay more for them. *sigh* And I missed the short raspberry season by being in Germany - so no black raspberries for me this year.

The tomato plants had a brief round of production right after we left. There were a few orange ones that obviously ripened while we were gone. Now there are a bunch of new green tomatoes, but I am not confident that they will ripen before the season is over. We'll see. Also, they grew a lot in the past month, and I never bothered to put up cages, so they're sprawling all over the place, with at least one branch having broken off. :(

The corn has grown fairly high, but not what I would have expected. Most of the plants are around five feet tall, with a few over six feet. Unfortunately, none of them have reproduced at all...no ears of corn. I don't know if something is lacking here, or if they have been manipulated to not reproduce. Either way, I am disappointed. I thought it would be cool to harvest the purple corn.

I planted two varieties of heirloom green beans. They have both grown around the corn and every weed plant in the vicinity. One type made a handful of beans, which I didn't like all that much - but I have had mixed experiences with fresh green beans. The other variety has a lot of flowers but no beans yet. I thought green beans were an earlier season crop. Maybe I just planted too late.

The two pepper plants that I bought at the farmer's market did well. I am surprised, considering the battering they got (from rain) earlier this season. However, I did not put together that banana pepper = pepperoncini when I bought the plants. I haven't tried these yet, but I've not been a big fan of this pepper in the past.

And that's it! Not much to show for the effort - but probably not enough effort expended. In the future, I think I might try a raised garden and/or put down some kind of mulch around plants to reduce the weed problem.

And Phantom...is doing fine. They gave him a bath and brushing right before we got home, so he was soft and clean. In another week or so, I think he goes to every other week treatment briefly, and then it will be done! And we will just have to wait and see what happens. This is no guarantee, after all. But for now, he's fine. He doesn't seem to be adversely effected by the chemo at all.

Home and jetlagged.

2008-08-06T20:08:00.003-04:00

We arrived home at 2:00 this morning, after a grand total of 20 hours of traveling (although the first couple were spent in the Hannover airport, which wasn't all bad). For the first time ever (I think), we left Hannover on an afternoon flight, rather than having to get up at 3:00-4:00 am to get to the airport on time. So we started out well rested. Then we had three flights back to back, arriving at our airport at 12:00 am local time (6:00 am Germany's time). Long day. I had six hours of very broken sleep last night and will be collapsing in bed shortly.

have some time, leave a post

2008-07-15T09:05:00.003-04:00

Greetings from Germany. We spent a week on the island of Sylt, and today is our second day back at the in-laws' house. We were here at this time last year, and oddly, it doesn't feel like much time has passed. Nearly everything is the same. (However, Illi now has a cable Internet connection, which is much, much nicer than the pay-per-minute ISDN that she used last year). Oh, and the weather is much different. Last year, they had an unusual heat wave, and we baked with no air conditioning. This afternoon, it is a mere 73 degrees, and the forecast for the next few days is even cooler. I see the weather back home in Indiana is expected to be in the 90s during the same period, so I'm not complaining.

It's a little odd for me, being here. Its awkward at times. I feel as though the main point of these visits is for Illi to see Chris and Marcus (and also for Marcus to learn more German). The side benefit is that I get time to read and hang out online, which is nice, but I also feel a little out of place. I am subject to everything being run by someone else. I am obligated to eat when and what someone else chooses (with some occasional input). I can walk around the village, but there isn't anything to do here. If I want to go somewhere, I have to ask to borrow the car (though they would probably let me do so without any problem). And really, there aren't very many places I would go, since I can't communicate with anyone unless they happen to speak English.

That is something else I have been thinking about. This whole immersion thing would go much smoother for Marcus if I weren't here screwing it up - or if I too spoke German, at least while visiting Germany. Even with additional people speaking German around him, he continues to use a lot of English. It makes me think that I should work more on my German, though we know how well that has worked so far. I suck at learning foreign languages, and it seems as though something else has always taken priority in the now nearly eight years that Chris and I have been together. But Marcus will (hopefully) be going to preschool twice a week this fall, so maybe I'll try to devote a small amount of time to it. Maybe.

quick update

2008-06-22T07:45:00.003-04:00

Yes, Phantom has lymphoma. He is currently on chemotherapy. Poor guy. :(

And we're home from Austin/San Antonio! It was a great trip but very HOT and tiring in the sun. It was a big relief to step out of the Indy airport and note that it was only about 80 degrees. Austin was a neat city, but I think I'd rather go back during a different time of year. LOL

summertime

2008-06-15T15:07:00.006-04:00

I just haven't felt up to blogging lately. Been preoccupied, I guess. After I vetoed the candida-fighting diet, I felt a little apathetic as far as dieting. Just didn't care. Still don't care much, although I dislike the trips to the pool in swimwear. But oh well. It's fun for Marcus.

Soon we shall embark on vacation season! First we'll have a short (but probably rather busy) trip to Austin TX - aka the only crunchy city in the state - and then shortly thereafter, we'll be heading to Germany. I look forward to this stuff, but it's tiring. I feel as though it has kind of snuck up on me. Note to family: you have been warned. If you can't reach my phone, I'm probably out of the country. ;)

On Friday, we took Phantom to the vet to have a lump checked, only to discover that all his lymph nodes are huge. The vet drew some samples and sent them to the lab. Potential nasty diagnosis: lymphoma. We're supposed to get results back tomorrow. Let's hope it isn't lymphoma. :(

We've had a lot of rain but also a few sunny days...and the corn/beans that sprouted are doing very well. The tomato plants are not so thrilled. They're growing alright but they're not making many tomatoes. Makes me wonder if the soil in that little plot is just not the best for tomatoes. (Fertilizer, anyone?) Two of the raspberry canes have made leaves (the others either didn't do anything or got broken off) but I have a hard time believing that these two plants will produce fruit next year. They haven't grown at all yet. But maybe they'll surprise me and do some growing while we're gone.

Just drinkin' my iced sweet tea...no latte at the moment. ;)

more on the diet

2008-05-27T13:54:00.003-04:00

The candidiasis diet sucks. (The book I'm reading, for anyone curious, is the Body Ecology Diet, but similar programs exist for eliminating candida). I couldn't even stick to it completely for a day (though I was very close). There just weren't enough interesting things to eat. Of course, it would help if I prepared the recipes in the book (which I haven't even finished yet) but I thought I had enough different foods here to keep me going for a day - I was wrong. I really don't want to do this. *sigh*

I also have to say that I feel bad for the people who can't tolerate gluten. Of course, they're not as restricted as anyone on this diet; they can have fruit and sweeteners, where this diet prohibits those foods. But it still must be a pain to have to deal with wheat-free products. I bought a couple of different brands of gluten-free crackers today, and they were not very impressive. After a day of following this diet, I felt almost decadent having a sandwich with Ezekial bread. I never really thought of myself as a big bread/wheat eater, but take it away, and I certainly do miss it.

There are some interesting points in this book which I will keep working with. I can certainly work at increasing my intake of veggies and decreasing sugar (or natural sugar) foods. I tried kefir, and it's not too bad. I bought some apple cider vinegar and may incorporate that into my diet somehow. I also prepared a jar of "raw cultured vegetables" (aka sauerkraut) which should be done in a few days, so we'll see how that turns out. I don't know how much progress I can make without eliminating everything, but it's worth a try.

this and that

2008-05-25T22:11:00.003-04:00

I am pleased to note: most of the beans and some of the corn seeds have sprouted! Also, two of the raspberry canes (aka bare sticks poking out of the ground, LOL) have tiny leaves. Woot!

I am tentatively embarking on a diet for candidiasis. Of course, we all know how great I am (not) at sticking to a restrictive diet for any prolonged length of time, so don't expect much. Mom is coming to visit in another week or so, and I doubt I'll want to just eat my few foods on those days. Also, we're heading down to Austin for a mini-vacation in three weeks. I'm sure there will be lots of tasty food there. But the comments in this book I'm reading sound as if this could be a problem for me, so I'm willing to give it a try.

rain, rain....

2008-05-14T06:55:00.003-04:00

We had two days of clear weather, and YES, there are a few plants coming up - beans, mostly, but maybe a corn seedling as well. But now it's raining again! And it's expected to rain most of the day and most of the week as well. *sigh*

gardening stuff

2008-05-13T12:28:00.004-04:00

The raspberries are in! The items that arrived (by mail) were rather pitiful and not what I expected after having seen raspberry bushes for sale around town (not black unfortunately). These were individual canes with a few roots attached, in peat moss. Now I have seven sticks poking out of the ground. LOL

Nothing else is coming up yet. Today is our second clear (and relatively warm) day after several days of on and off rain. So I hope something comes up. We're due for yet more rain later in the week - not good for sprouting. I saw some new field crops coming up yesterday and wondered if mine were ever going to show. :(

May (or rather, April)

2008-05-01T14:41:00.006-04:00

Well, I've been slacking off here, though no worse than anyone else in our little group. So...what have we been going in the past [almost] month?

- We're very happy that it's spring (with only a few somewhat chilly days thrown in) and have been visiting all the parks. Marcus is starting to like playing with others more, especially if those others are Pierce and Koen. ;)

- We made a trip to Cincinnati to shop at IKEA. While this may be a little insane, it's half the time/distance of going to Chicago, which you may recall we did last fall. This trip was rather painless in comparison. We weren't able to get as many large things as we wanted, so now we're debating whether to buy a rack for our car and risk driving home with stuff tied on our roof, or rent another vehicle to transport the larger items. LOL (We also wandered around downtown Cincinnati a bit, stopping to pet the police horses and eat some tasty Italian food).

- I love this blog! Walk Slowly Live Wildly. Her whole message and style appeals to me (except for the religious aspect). She also has a great food-related blog: The Happy Foody. I'm slowly (very slowly, as Chris would point out) contemplating how to implement some of the things into our lives. I haven't even read most of the site yet - I keep getting distracted. But I do plan to make some changes around here, at least in regard to my stuff.

- I've become very fond of the sweet tea at McDonald's, diluted in half with the regular tea. Unfortunately, I hated using all that styrofoam (not to mention the $1 every time I went), so I have started making my own tea at home - much cheaper.

- My garden has not yet happened. I got it tilled early last month, but I haven't planted anything. All my seeds are here. I'm just waiting to go to the farmer's market for tomato plants (hoping they will have them again this year) and various area stores to find raspberry plants. I did clean up a small garden in the front yard (not sure what I'm going to plant there yet) and my quads & elbows are still a little sore three (or four?) days later. I don't know if that's more a factor of not enough work like this, or the FMS. But it sucks. I had started on a routine of using the spinning bike every day other day, and then it got derailed by some serious post-gardening pain. But I'm about ready to tackle gardening again. The farmer's market is this Saturday.

- I'm considering replacing our camera, preferably with a digital SLR. I haven't made any final decision on which one yet though. Again, I seem to keep getting distracted. ;)

- Some of my favorite shows are back again! Yay!

Just for something different

2008-04-04T16:13:00.006-04:00

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 40% Conservative, 60% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

(A few of those questions were kind of iffy though. They were very all-or-nothing, and I tend to want to qualify my responses with "It depends on the situation..." So I'm not sure if this is completely accurate).

And then we have...

The Political Compass (Take test here)

Economic Left/Right: -2.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.62

Yup, I lean to the left. My opinion on the economic part varies from time to time, but I'm solid on the social/personal part (which is nothing surprising to anyone who knows me). ;)

ETA - Too bad the right side got cut off. If only. ;)

obligatory foot note

2008-03-31T12:53:00.005-04:00

My foot is getting worse again. It's not painful all the time, and it's generally tolerable, but it's clearly getting worse. I had trouble getting comfortable and going to sleep last night. I often have pain in and around my toes and the bones in the ball of my foot.

The only other option left for this is surgery. I just don't want to go there. I don't feel the impact is severe enough yet (though it does impact my quality of life somewhat). I keep thinking and hoping that maybe if I were to lose some weight, it would improve on its own. The problems I'm dealing with now are completely different physiological scenarios than Achilles tendinosis (which I also have, and which has improved somewhat over time), but I remain optimistic.

I'm not sure which is actually harder: weight loss or surgery. Obviously I haven't been successful at losing weight and keeping it off since the foot fiasco started back in 2001 or so (w/the Achilles tendinosis - the more recent stuff started in 2006, I think). At the same time, the idea of going through surgery if there is any possibility of my foot improving with weight loss just seems ludicrous to me. What if the surgery were a disaster? Or what if it just ended up causing yet some other problem in another part of my foot? I know from experience elsewhere that surgery changes everything. So I guess in that respect, I'm pessimistic.

I am sort of starting to come to some acceptance of a certain fact. Maybe this is cyclical - I accept it, and then I refuse to accept it (getting angry, thinking maybe I can get around it), and then I accept it again. And that fact is thus: I am not a person who can do all sorts of unhealthy things to my body and come out unscathed. Indeed, I am actually able to do a lot less than many people, with the results of too much often being painful. This applies to how much sleep I get. How hard I push myself at the gym. And apparently how I treat my feet. I'm too heavy. My feet are just weird. It is not enough that I've usually worn relatively decent shoes and rarely tormented my feet with high heels. I've been told that the years of dancing did something to my feet that was irreversible. Who knows if that's true. But as much as I'd like to believe that I'll be able to run 5Ks again someday, there's another side of me that doubts it will ever happen. I'm just not made for it.

Another month almost over.

2008-03-28T09:30:00.003-04:00

Easter was low-key for the most part (which is just the way we like it). We painted eggs with a funky speckled paint rather than the usual dip colors. (I am still getting my hands dyed every time I peel one of the eggs). I hid them along with quite a few plastic ones in the yard, and Marcus had a fun time finding them.

I'm still a little sick but not bad. I've been trying various concoctions with garlic, lemon and ginger (not all together), which are supposed to be good for the immune system. The garlic lemonade was kind of scary. The lemon and ginger tea/lemonade wasn't bad. I've never been a fan of ginger, but it's growing on me. I bought more ginger root and lemons to make more.

Another month is over, and I'm happy to say that I actually have a slight downward trend on my weight graph, instead the upward version I've had for the past few months. So the smoothie thing works for me, when I can stick to it. It's really been a matter of getting used to being less full. That is really difficult for me. And of course impulse control is a big thing: ignoring that little voice that calls to me as we're driving around town, saying "oh, you could stop at the bakery for a doughnut, or you could go to BK for some fries, or how about a sandwich at Jimmy Johns? They're sorta healthy" - and so on, and so forth. I haven't given up Starbucks though. I figure a latte with a little honey or caramel syrup (and under 200 calories) is not the worst thing in the world - and the pleasure of it helps keep me sane. Very important.

Sick today.

2008-03-21T08:59:00.005-04:00

I have one cranky, demanding, crybaby of a 3-year-old on my hands. He has a full-blown cold (mainly congestion/runny nose), and I have some congestion and a sore throat. We were awake frequently last night [insert rolling eye smiley here].

That is all.

Didn't happen.

2008-03-20T19:50:00.003-04:00

I'm starting to get sick today and skipped the gym. I have a sore throat. I tried to eat/drink stuff that would be good for my immune system, and even that went to hell. I had cotton candy at the egg hunt this afternoon and Chinese takeout for dinner. Maybe I'll go out for immune system goodies tomorrow. Or maybe I'll feel too crappy and not bother going anywhere. :P

Blah.

2008-03-19T10:57:00.004-04:00

I had sort of started to get into a routine: weights at the gym on Wednesday and either Saturday or Sunday; and spinning bike on the day before each gym day. I biked yesterday (it went well, meaning no pain), but this morning, my elbows hurt, so weight lifting is out of the question. I went to bed late last night, which may have something to do with it. I hate that my daily condition is so closely tied to how much and how well I sleep - but it seems to be that way. OTOH, this pain might not have anything to do with last night's sleep. I can't say for sure. Hopefully we'll be able to hit the gym tomorrow and still stay close to the routine.

smoothies

2008-03-15T19:44:00.004-04:00

I don't remember if I mentioned Valerie Winters and her Green Smoothie Experiment. Interesting stuff. She was (and likely still is) extremely overweight, and she lost 127 pounds (in a mere 25 weeks) by existing solely on green smoothies. She documented the whole thing in her blog here. I find her experience fascinating because I can't stick to a diet 100% for more than a few days, yet she theoretically went 25 weeks without eating anything but smoothies. (Of course, there has been practically no sign of her anywhere online since the experiment ended, so it's entirely possible that she gained all the weight back).

Anyway...a couple of the authors whom I really respect talk about how great leafy green vegetables are, and green smoothies are an easy and tasty way to get them. After reading the blog and digesting this whole idea, I thought maybe I'd try to drink green smoothies twice a day, in place of meals. This has been a learning process. For one thing, a single glass of smoothie isn't enough. In her experiment, Valerie drank three quarts of smoothie a day. If I only drink one glass at breakfast, it isn't long until I'm hungry again. Likewise, going too long between breakfast and lunch (the two meals that make the most sense for my smoothie consumption) cause me to end up craving all manner of foods by mid-afternoon. Once or twice, I was able to eat lunch and then have the smoothie at dinner. It wasn't bad, but usually we all have dinner together, so I don't think having a smoothie at dinner works as well overall.

OTOH, I may get sick of the whole thing soon. We'll see.

I've also been back to the gym a couple of times. It has gone fairly well so far. Marcus did okay in the childcare there. So hopefully he will not have any problem with continuing to go once or twice a week. I've been tempted lately to buy some home equipment and cancel my gym membership...but I guess I'll wait and see how Marcus handles the gym on a regular basis.

Buy Organic! (and local when possible)

2008-03-05T13:48:00.008-05:00

Last night, I watched a film called The Future of Food. The main emphasis of the film was GMO (genetically modified organisms), and in particular, the related behavior of Monsanto Corporation. Monsanto apparently owns most/all of the major big seed companies in the USA. They harass farmers who have any trace amount of their genetically altered seed in their fields, even if said seed got there because a grain truck drove by and distributed a few seeds. It's ridiculous. But that's not the worst of it. No, the worst is what they're putting into the food supply, and how these changes may effect people's health down the road. How do you like the idea of E.coli DNA in your food? It's screwed up. Many foods that people eat (i.e. not being fed to animals) are being added to the list of GMO foods. And they even go so far as to try to alter the seeds so that the seeds produced by the resulting plants are sterile. In other words, you'd be forced to buy seeds from them every year. I don't think this technology has been implemented yet, but they're pushing it. If you ask me, we're headed for starvation at this rate. It's only a matter of time until the plants mutate and don't grow correctly. Or, at the least, the altered foods will be dangerous to consume over the long term. Some of these GMO plants are already capable of killing and causing tumors in animals and insects. But it's okay to feed this stuff to people?? And I'm not saying that to be speciesist. I'm saying that if it kills animals, that ought to be reason right there to discontinue the practice. Shouldn't that be common sense??

So...if you want to avoid this weird stuff, buy organic. After a big backlash several years ago, foods labeled organic cannot be GMO. Look for foods that specifically say they aren't GMO (most don't say anything about it, but there are a few out there). And check out this film. Get pissed off. Tell your congresspeople. Spread the word.

ETA - Here's an interesting clip about how far food is transported and how much energy is used in the process:

News today.

2008-02-23T18:59:00.005-05:00

I have this song stuck in my head. It's been there for days, since the last time I rode the bike and heard it while listening to my iAudio. The song really wasn't associated with anything in particular...just a melancholy techno/trance song. Well, I'm afraid perhaps it has been given a permanent association. I hope not, because it's not a pleasant one. This morning, we found out that one of Chris's cousins committed suicide. He was 22.

I didn't have much connection with this guy. He always acted like he was uncomfortable around me (and most people), and so I was a little uncomfortable around him. He came with his dad to visit us in fall '06. He played with Marcus and laughed with Chris. He seemed to be fairly happy. But maybe he wasn't. Or maybe it all hit him quickly, later.

I am intimately acquainted with depression. I thought about suicide many times. But I guess I'm lucky in that nothing pushed me to the point that I would go stand in front of a speeding train.

May he rest in peace.

As for me and the usual stuff.
I'm still obsessing about junk food. I've been out of control the last couple of days. I recently got interested in whoopies again, so I looked online for recipes...and found a great site with lots of tasty looking things (not just sweets). Tonight I tried the chocolate whoopie recipe. I am both disappointed and relieved to report that they did not turn out just like Wicked Whoopies, and I am in no hurry to make them again. Don't get me wrong - they're tasty. They're just not what I expected. I ate a few and am currently totally turned off on sugar. Too bad the feeling doesn't last. LOL

I re-read all this, and it just sounds pathetic. Food is such an obsession for me. I would say that I hate it, but that's not completely true. On the occasions when my appetite was blunted for some reason (medications, low-carb diet, etc), I was disappointed to find that nothing else in my life compared. I just love food, and nothing is going to change that. The problem is that I love the good and the bad, too much for my own good. ;)

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T16:40:00.003-05:00

...not that it's a huge deal here. But Chris did get me a very nice card, which is progress. ;) Today is also Illi's last day here, so we're all going out to Ruby Tuesday tonight. I imagine the place will be swamped, since it's a romantic holiday. But it's been busy every time I've gone there, and they handle it well.

My favorite mothering board did another holiday swap (we also sent small gifts to each other at the start of the year). This time, we sent V-Day cards with a little something extra in them. It was fun! Also, Marcus got two cards today (how lucky is that) - one from Allison/Gabbi and one from Mom (with pug calendar pics included LOL). He was so excited to get his own cards!! :)

I haven't attempted to lose weight at all in the past ten days or so. I just gave up. I rode my bike a couple of times, but that was it. I had a few appts and errands to run (when Marcus stayed home with Illi), and I didn't feel comfortable asking her to watch him so I could go to the gym. It would be nice if he actually wanted to go play with the toys there, so I could work out more often without any grief. But he's just so intimidated by other people.

Anyway...Illi goes home tomorrow, and I will hopefully get my butt in gear. I certainly won't be eating as much as I've eaten lately. Ugh.

Sick and Unmotivated.

2008-02-07T15:45:00.001-05:00

So, what's new...?

My mother-in-law (Illi) is here. She arrived Sunday night and stays through the 15th. She and Marcus have been having a great time together. I've been spending a lot of time on the computer as a result. LOL Even though she wants to play with Marcus, I feel weird going anywhere for long and leaving him with her. I also took him to a playdate for a couple of hours, so she'd have some free time without him. ;)

My fever only lasted a few days, but I'm still coughing. It's getting a little old! I've used the bike twice in the past week, but I cough a lot during and afterwards, so I'm not sure if it's a great idea.

I'm disgusted with my diet and weight fluctuation lately. My weight fell quite a bit while I was very sick; I didn't eat a lot of bulky food. I thought I'd keep a couple of pounds off, but it doesn't look very promising. I think I'm even more preoccupied (than usual) with food as a result of Illi being here. I feel obligated to offer her more variety of food than I might otherwise eat. Also, Marcus and I hit the bakery yesterday, which was not a great idea. I seem to be sabotaging myself as of late - I don't know why. I've lost some motivation.

Fever!

2008-01-26T19:11:00.001-05:00

...you give me fever...

(Madonna reference)

Actually, Chris gave me fever. I've been sick for the past few days, and I still have a fever tonight. The front of my skull hurts. This morning, I had to take a painkiller in order to sleep, because I was sore everywhere. Maybe I have the flu. Luckily, Marcus is not very sick. He's been cranky a couple of times (and not sleeping particularly well) but otherwise lively as usual. Also, Chris is coming down off the worst of it (after having spent most of the past week in bed) so he's able to take care of Marcus while I lounge around.

I had hoped to avoid this altogether because of my oh-so-healthy raw diet, but it didn't happen. At least I didn't get it as bad as Chris did. ;)

Having said that, I am now going to eat some greasy fast food for dinner (mmm, fried cheese balls). I've been eating super healthy during the past week and have odd cravings for grease.

w00t!

2008-01-18T10:27:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling a little better today. I tried some peach Stash tea this morning, and it must provide some serious caffeine, because I am wound up now (and it tastes good too LOL). I need to go bike!

Somebody stop me!

2008-01-17T16:18:00.001-05:00

On the day that I wanted to do all raw food (several days ago), I ate all raw EXCEPT a Wicked Whoopie and a little bit of birthday cake, IIRC. And I was fine. No cravings for anything. For the next couple of days, I continued eating really healthy, with lots of raw food (not entirely raw), along with one or two whoopies - and I never had any big blood sugar crash. I never wanted to eat anything else unhealthy. I would expect something as sugar-laden as a whoopie to cause a rebound reaction, but I didn't notice one.

Since then, it's as if my blood sugar levels have been all over the place. I feel like eating tons of junk! I'm not satified with anything. I missed getting my green smoothie this morning (we rushed off to a playdate) so that might have been the cause today. But I don't know what the deal was yesterday or the day before. I hate feeling like this. I'm not hungry but want to munch on junk. Worse, I don't feel like eating the stuff that I should be eating. Argh! Maybe it's PMS. ;)

I think I'll go have some tea - the herbal variety, without caffeine.

this and that

2008-01-16T19:58:00.001-05:00

I decided to drop out of the Fit Club thing. I know that it would help me be more accountable, but I just don't feel like doing it this time. Maybe it would be different if I really knew the other women. Or maybe not. It's like keeping a food diary. I just get sick of it after a while and eat whatever I want anyway. Why bother?

Today was not very good diet-wise. I've been craving the damn whoopies for the past day or two, so I ended up going to the local bakery and getting some stuff. It was overkill. I felt lousy afterwards. I hardly ever go there, and now I remember why. Bleh. Ordinary baked goods cannot replace the Wicked Whoopie! LOL

I did, however, ride my bike for 30 minutes today. My ITB is a little sore this evening, which hopefully just means I need to stretch more. I spent my prime stretching time (right after the bike ride) yakking on the phone - not the smartest thing.

Tonight we did a little grocery shopping. I love shopping for produce now. I don't know why. I guess it just feels good buying all this healthy, live food. If I keep up with this (eating more raw food), I'm going to go crazy when the Farmer's Market starts up again. Yum! ;)

...

2008-01-14T14:48:00.002-05:00

Ever have days where you seriously wonder about your future? Well I'm having one of those kinds of days. And if that sounds obscure, well, too bad. I'm really not here to air dirty laundry. I'm just having a hard time right now. I can't let it overtake me too much, because I have a little boy that needs his Mama and his regular routine. But it's lurking there nonetheless. Certain things need to change, and soon.

One of my mothering boards is having another "Fit Club" competition, and I signed up. I can't remember if I discussed it much here before (and I'm too lazy to look) but it ran for four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I lost half a pound each of the first two weeks, gained it back the third, and maintained for the last. Pathetic. This time, it will last six weeks. It starts this Wednesday. I feel relatively motivated. I've ridden my bike a couple of times lately, and my knee held up well. I'm still reading about raw dieting and drinking my green smoothie every morning. The Wicked Whoopies are GONE now, thankfully (they were good but way too tempting all the time - and I don't even want to imagine the calories involved). I think a more raw diet will be beneficial for me. Time will tell.

My little boy is three!

2008-01-10T15:53:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday Marcus Boo! ;)

(Technically it was yesterday, but I'm just now getting around to this...)

Meanwhile, we (especially me) are noshing on two birthday cakes. I think today will be the end of it. One is nearly gone. The other may have some left tomorrow, but I'm done eating it. Chris can finish it.

To add insult to injury, I ordered a package of Wicked Whoopies not too long ago (Allison and Danny may recall this product, as I showed them the site when I was there in November), and they should be arriving today. Duhhhhhhh.

I'm really starting to feel some pressure - mostly self-induced, of course. My feet totally suck. I had the last set of alcohol injections in my neuromas yesterday, and I'm pretty sure that the whole [rather expensive and painful] endeavor was a failure. Plus I have some other issue in the ball of my foot. The podiatrist wants to make a custom orthotic, but he doesn't believe in doing so until the neuromas are gone - which means surgery if they don't spontaneously clear up after this last round of shots. I will not have surgery if I can help it. I know that many [skinny] runners get this problem, so it's not just a weight issue; however, I can't help but think that it would be better if I weighed less. Maybe that's just naive and wishful thinking. Neuroma surgery has a fairly high success rate, but frankly, I'm not optimistic. The alcohol shots were supposed to be successful for 80% of people, and look what happened. Plus I'd have to be off my feet for a long time during recovery, which would be damn near impossible with an active 3-year-old and no help. No thank you.

Also, I keep thinking about whether or not to have any more children. There are multiple pros and cons to this, which I won't get into here (and don't care to debate with anyone) but the relevant factor is that I detested being so heavy when I was pregnant. I swore I wouldn't do it again. I am now only five pounds short of the weight I was when I got pregnant last time.

Anyway...enough of that topic. Yesterday, I got my first experience hosting a party, and it was only the second time I had a group of people in my house. I invited a total of four mothers with seven kids, ranging from seven months to six years old (most were 2-3 years old though, plus siblings). A friend of mine made a rather labor-intensive Diego cake. We had a Diego theme for the party. For snacks, we had various raw veggies with ranch dressing, apple slices, grapes, little pesto/mozzarella/tomato sandwiches that I made, and tortilla chips with hummus (one of Marcus's favorites). Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of this little spread. ;) We didn't do any special party games...they just played with all of M's toys, ate snacks and cake, and watched him open presents. Overall, it went very well. There were a few small disputes and hurt feelings over toys, but no one got hurt. I consider that a success. LOL

one $4 super-duper latte, please

2008-01-06T16:26:00.001-05:00

I'm starting to get turned off by coffee. Maybe I'm just having a bad day (or week). Technically, I still like lattes from the coffee shops, so my title still holds true for now. But I cannot for the life of me make anything palatable at home. I also find more and more that the idea of stopping for a coffee drink appeals to me more than actually drinking it. (The exception was when I had a honey/cinnamon latte at a small shop in the Yorktown toy store - I thought it might be good and it was exceptional). Anyway, I don't think coffee is going to become a regular thing for me at home, unless I invest in a good espresso machine and grinder - which is not top on my list (yes I do have a list) of things to buy.

You may have noticed that the scale has gone up. The biggest jumps were on New Years Eve (the fondue) and the night before (no idea what we ate then). Otherwise, I haven't eaten any more than usual in the past week. I don't have much faith in the calorie theory when it only takes a couple of days for my weight to jump 3-4 pounds (and I'm not talking about water weight here).

I'm slowly reading my raw food books (the current one being the most important, I think). The author says it's a good thing to drink a lot of green smoothies before even embarking on a raw diet, in order to get your body full of nutrients again, so I guess that's what I'm currently doing. I think I've had green smoothies on four of the past five days. I really like them, so that's no problem...but my mind tends to rebel and then crave junk. Not very productive.

Stuff

2008-01-03T15:21:00.001-05:00

Everyone should watch this - and give it some serious thought!
The Story of Stuff

(I think the site was overloaded when I tried to watch...first it was totally down and then I had some trouble seeing the last part of it. But keep trying).

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T12:45:00.002-05:00

Sydney, Australia puts on a good show, so here's a pic:

Also, I thought it was cool that the ball in New York city is now covered in energy efficient LED bulbs. I didn't get to watch the show last night, but it looks impressive in the pic:

I made our traditional fondue last night, and I believe it turned out the best yet (right texture for bread dipping). Marcus wasn't too thrilled (maybe because of the wine flavor?) but we'll try again next year. ;) We ate it with bread from Panera, and it was quite yummy.

This morning, I made a very green smoothie: a bit of OJ, fresh pineapple, banana, water/ice, and a whole container of organic baby romaine. (I would have used kale, but the selection at the store was poor). I guess you could say my New Year resolution is to eat more raw food (in place of processed junk), and I'm going to start by drinking a green smoothie every day. Yum. ;)

post Christmas, pre New Year

2007-12-28T13:55:00.001-05:00

Christmas was a new experience this year. We didn't visit any family, which wasn't entirely new (we had Christmas to ourselves in CA a couple of times) but doing so and having Marcus around was a new thing. For me, the main event of the day was seeing Marcus open all his presents. I still question the whole holiday though. It's a confusing tradition to me. We're not religious, so we don't celebrate that aspect of it. We (Chris and I) don't expect to get into the Santa game. Christmas is just an excuse to give each other gifts and decorate a tree - which aren't bad things. But it feels weird to be the only one deciding what traditions to carry on. When we go spend the holiday when someone else, they get that job.

That said, it was fun and relatively laid back. We didn't plan ahead for dinner, so we ended up going out for Chinese food (which we did on those couple of occasions in CA). I think that the next time we celebrate Christmas alone, I will plan some vegetarian goodies to make so we can have an appropriate Christmas feast. But we like to eat out, and we enjoyed ourselves. There were plenty of other people eating Chinese food as well.

It's nearly Marcus's third birthday. Hard to believe the little guy is almost three years old, and another year is nearly gone. I think this year went quickly for me - definitely moreso than the prior two years. I like having a two year old more than a baby, in spite of the toddler's obnoxious ways. I get more sleep. ;)

nearly a year

2007-12-17T17:16:00.002-05:00

It has been almost a year since I started this blog. Allison dropped out along the way (and gained some weight). Rebecca got lean and green and sparkly (and then ran a 1/2 marathon, and finally forgot about her blog). Jenni got pregnant and started a different blog. And I am basically the same weight that I was a year ago (which of course was the original purpose for this blog - documenting weight loss).

It's been yet another year of constant preoccupation with my weight and everything I eat. I guess I should be a little happy that I haven't gotten any bigger, but I had hoped to be several sizes smaller by now. I'd like to believe that I could go through life without being so concerned about this, but I don't think it's going to happen. I'm not setting any particular goals now though. Each week, each day sometimes, is a new challenge. Sometimes I plan to do some exercise, and then I find that I am physically unable to do it. Other times, I go through with it without any pain, and then I am basically disabled for months. Lately, I've just been lazy. I know the spinning will make my elbows sore. I know that taking Marcus to the gym is likely to result in protest. So I do nothing.

Also, diet motivation and willpower are fleeting. Sometimes they are strong, and I have no idea why. Then the whole thing goes out the window for some tasty meal (or meals). I had about two weeks of fairly good dieting (I thought), but the scale didn't move much. The past week has not been so good, and the scale has returned to its previous position - indeed going up even more after last night's Mexican feast. I don't think dieting is good for me - or I haven't found a workable plan yet. I theoretically had everything I needed to do well (teammates encouraging me, the accountability of reporting my weight to someone), and still I failed to lose.

Tonight I'm going out for another Moms Night Out with the playgroup moms. We're going to Ruby Tuesday. They have a great salad bar and yummy blackberry lemonade. Do you think that I want to stick to a few hundred calories? That wouldn't be any fun, now would it? ;)

Snow #2

2007-12-16T11:39:00.003-05:00

...or is it #3. I might be three. But the previous snow was only 2-3 inches and was gone within a couple of days. This storm brought a bit more (and a lovely layer of ice underneath - can't wait to shovel). It's supposed to warm up slightly in a few days. We'll see.

Actually I don't mind the snow. It's December, after all. I already shoveled once during this storm (crazy, I know) because it wasn't a big deal when it was only an inch or two deep. At that time, it was just a pretty snow. Marcus helped, pushing his little shovel across the driveway. It's the freezing rain part (which started later) that I don't like. We didn't buy any salt, so we're just going to have to deal with it. Fun fun.

And oh yeah - the weight loss competition. It's still not getting anywhere. I technically lost during the first two weeks - 1/2 pound losses that just showed up again midweek. For the third weigh-in, I maintained. I doubt I'm going to see another loss for the final week, but who knows. I'll try. Our team just didn't do very well this time around. On a good note though: I'm exercising more. I've used my bike a couple of times (with appropriate stretches before and after), and my knee is okay. I also went to the YMCA for the first time in three months (ouch) and lifted some weights - and that went well too. I know the FMS comes in cycles - there are good days and bad days - but it was encouraging. If Marcus will keep tolerating the child care (which he did! for the first time in many months!), I'll keep going!

So, what's happening...

2007-12-08T15:19:00.002-05:00

*Marcus and I got a tree put up. Now he's taking off the ornaments one by one, but at least it was pretty for a short while.

*We probably won't go anywhere for Christmas. We had talked about going to a warm beach somewhere, but a lot of good places are already booked. I'm not done looking though!

*Most of the shelves are up, and I've started filling them. Woot!

*The Fit Club competition is keeping me motivated, but I'm still not losing much weight. I really need to get with it - for the team, if nothing else. ;)

*We're having our first indoor playdate here next week, so I really need to get the house organized/cleaned...

*If you haven't bought Marcus a Christmas present yet, he really likes the Matryoshka nesting dolls. ;) You can get them in other cute themes - various animals, Pooh characters, etc. Check out the Bits & Pieces website.

(New puzzles are also popular - in the 25-50 piece range).

*Christmas suggestions for yours truly: any products from the LUSH site (or similar), funky colored (bold, jewel, rainbow, etc) worsted weight cotton yarn (any material but acrylic), cool bag for my yarn collection, good waffle iron, Yankee candles (votive size), and of course Starbucks gift certificates. ;)

Just for the heck of it, I visited the Yankee Candle website and came up with a list of yummy-sounding scents: berry tangerine, black raspberry, passion fruit, cherry lemonade, cottage breeze, fruit smoothie (yum, this is making me hungry), gingerbread, granny smith, island spa, juicy peach, lilac blossoms, macintosh, machintosh & peach, mandarin cranberry, mango blossom, midnight cove, new zealand wild berry, peach & sweet berries, pomegranate cider, shortbread cookie, sparkling lemon, spring bouquet, sand & sun, sweet strawberry, vanilla caramel, vanilla cupcake, vanilla lime

Home from Iowa

2007-11-27T12:22:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was the marathon drive home from Iowa. It wasn't so bad though. Overall, both trips went smoothly. On the way there, it was very warm, and Marcus had a fun time playing at one of the rest areas. Later, on the same night that we arrived, it started to snow, and there was quite a bit of snow by the next morning - making me very glad that we went there on the day we did. Marcus had a good time, and I'd say that the whole stay was good - better than last time. Thanksgiving was fairly low-key. Dad actually spent a good portion of the day at Allison's instead of fleeing after a couple of hours, which was nice. It was good to see everyone. Marcus and I spent a while with Mom on Sunday (part of which he finally took a nap, and we got to crochet and load the car full of my stuff from her attic). On the way home, we stopped in Davenport to visit an online friend and her son, which was cool. We ended up staying there for over two hours, so we got home late. However, since we had gotten into the habit of staying up late while we were in Iowa, it really wasn't bad.

And...I did not gain any weight while I was there! Hallelujah for that. I still weigh the same as the initial weight I gave for the MZ competition. I have a rough idea of what I plan to do for this...no added sugar, less fat (except for some supplements that I take once a day), daily oatmeal, little/no white flour products and potatoes, and I'm going to try to do 10 minutes a day on my spinning bike. I would love to do more, but I gotta take it easy on my knee or I'll be out of commission again.

Getting ready to go!

2007-11-16T21:31:00.002-05:00

Well, the wood staining is coming along nicely (more on some days than others, but I'm getting there). A few of the shelves are up, and hopefully I will finish the rest before I leave on Tuesday - though that may be wishful thinking. ;) Once they're all up, then we can unload all the boxes of books and really get things organized around here! (At least, that's what I hope LOL).

On Tuesday, Marcus and I will be making our first car trip together to Iowa. I'm hoping that his love of watching DVDs will keep him entertained the whole way. It should be okay. I'm going to take my friend Anna's advice and stop every two hours, just to let him walk around a bit. We'll be there through the 25th, driving back on the 26th. Chris has decided to stay home.

On one of my online mothering boards, they are having a "Fit Club" competition, which starts on the 24th. I have signed up to be on a team, so that's my incentive not to eat like crazy while I'm in Iowa (not after Thanksgiving anyway). I am kicking myself a little for indulging so much in Montreal; I still weigh a little more than before I went. Hopefully this competition will provide me with the motivation I need to stick with a program. It lasts four weeks.

I'm still having some pain in the middle of the ball of my foot (which started in Montreal). I've had three sets of shots in the foot now. I'll get the fourth after I get back from Iowa. I still have some pain in the neuromas but it isn't as bad as this more recent pain. My podiatrist says it's just inflammation and should go away on its own. I keep hoping that he is right.

Home again.

2007-11-03T17:23:00.001-04:00

It's been a busy couple of weeks.

Shortly after I got my first alcohol shot (in my foot), we went to Montreal. It had good and bad points. There were some cool things to see, and I guess I would have felt bad missing it (not that I would have known) if I had stayed home. But it also involved a lot more walking than I normally do, so I now have some new aggravated places in my feet. We stayed in an area that was not technically downtown, but it was basically like a downtown: lots of small businesses, buildings crammed next to each other, heavy traffic, buses driving past our hotel window, and homeless people begging for money. I am easily overstimulated by that much action and noise all the time. Luckily there were a few places to get away from most of it. We took the Metro (subway) a few times, which Marcus thought was really cool. ;)

After Montreal, we flew to Iowa. My friend Sunny (we met in 1994, IIRC) got married. He and his new wife were guests at my wedding two years ago. Our wedding was actually their first official date! Most people from our little group of online gamers have already married and had one or more children - so it was cool to see that Sunny has finally found the right person. We hung out with family for the rest of the weekend and came home very late Sunday night.

I haven't done much this week except catch up on email, boards and TV shows. LOL I found a new chiropractor that I like much better than the others I've met in town, so I'm doing that twice a week. I went to another Mom's Night Out (and did not drink much this time). And I'm eating a little better, trying to get rid of the couple of pounds I accumulated during the trip. So far, so good. I've gotten into the habit of eating a large bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, which seems to keep me going for a while.

Marcus is finally really getting into talking. Every day, he seems to say new words - or pronounce existing ones better. While we were in Montreal, I noticed that he could say his name correctly - no more Ma-Mo. Of course, I still end up serving as interpreter when it comes to anyone (but Chris) understanding some things. ;) But it's cool to hear him say new words.

Mom's Night Out

2007-10-12T13:45:00.002-04:00

Last night, for the first time in eons, I went out with some other women for drinks - without Marcus. It was a good time! I should do it more often! We met at Cheeseburger in Paradise, which is a pretty good place for drinks - not to mention very close to our house. LOL I had a yummy piña colada and some wicked sour sampler margaritas (wont't be getting those again, ugh).

Of course, things just didn't work out the same without Mama at home to organize bedtime...must work on this. ;)

In other news...I just started getting alcohol shots in my foot. They feel similar to the cortisone shots - painful but over quickly. I really really hope that they do the trick. I don't want to have to get surgery.

cute cartoon

2007-10-09T20:48:00.001-04:00

An amusing and educational little clip about meat-eating from Bizarro cartoonist Dan Piraro.

Check out the talking pig!

Happy birthday to me!

2007-10-06T09:42:00.002-04:00

It was yesterday, actually. I just didn't bother to post.

I am now 35 - the age at which ob/gyns perk up their ears and push diagnostic testing for the increased rate of chromosomal abnormalities. Down's syndrome risk, for example, goes from 1 in 465 births at age 34 to 1 in 365 births at 35. And it rapidly gets worse from there. By age 40, it's 1 in 109.

So yeah, this subject (pregnancy) has been on my mind. There are many other issues at hand though - namely my health and if I'm going to be able to handle another round of sleep deprivation. I could also mention how my neuromas are not getting any better, and I'm currently debating whether or not to get surgery. But who knows if anything will be resolved a year from now. Treatment on my foot may fail; it could end up worse. My fibromyalgia symptoms may increase - very possible, given that it was birth and parenthood that made it flare up to begin with. The pregnancy may make everything worse. Given those odds, do I try for another child, or accept my perfect boy and family of three? Ah, decisions...

Many years ago, I said that if I were ever to have any children (which was a subject of debate), I would definitely be done (birthing them) by age 35. Older seemed too old to be having kids, IMO. A few years ago (pre-Marcus, pre-FMS), I thought maybe I might raise the bar to 40 years. But now I don't know. There are many days when I feel rather old as it is. And while 30s with young children doesn't seem old to me, 40s with young children feels different. Yet that is where I'll be if I ever have any more kids. *sigh*

Anyway...yesterday was an okay birthday. The number itself doesn't bother me; I don't feel over the hill yet. ;) Chris got up very early to go to an all-day conference in Indianapolis. Marcus didn't sleep as well after the alarm, but he did doze until almost 9:30, so that was nice. In the afternoon, a friend came over with her two boys, and we went to the park for a while. Then I caught up on a couple of TV shows (watched online). When Chris got home, we went out to Johnny Carino's, one of my favorite restaurants (not that there are many options in this town). We did not have cake (sob!) but we did have some tasty ice cream with whipped cream and drizzled chocolate sauce, courtesy of the restaurant. ;)

And that was that.

Let the work begin!

2007-09-26T16:10:00.002-04:00

It's good work though. ;)

I haven't been happy with the wood finishing products around here (don't really want cancer or brain damage), so I've ordered the oil that they sell at IKEA. We didn't buy it while we were there because we weren't totally sure how much we would need and figured we'd be able to get something similar here. Wrong. So the major shelving project will have to wait a week or so. (We also got some little wooden cube end tables that need to be finished - sigh).

I now have the couch and one chair set up.

We also put together a little shoe rack. Not a big deal but good for reducing the clutter. We bought a matching coat/hat rack that needs to be drilled onto the wall (and I just got a new drill for this purpose).

I tried out my new coffee toys this morning: a french press and and a little stovetop espresso maker (aka moka pot). The first trial with the french press was not so good - very bitter and strong. I don't know if I used too much coffee (very likely) or if the 30 seconds extra time I accidentally let it soak was the downfall. But I was not impressed. The moka pot did a fine job though. The coffee was more textured and oily than I'm used to, but then, I don't tend to see what the espresso looks like when they make my drink at the coffee shop. I got enough for a few lattes, and Marcus, my latte-drinking child, enthusiastically helped out. Luckily it was decaf. ;)

IKEA weekend

2007-09-25T20:32:00.001-04:00

Last weekend, we finally put our crazy idea into action. We went to Chicago to buy big furniture at IKEA. We decided that the best way to do it would be to drive our car to Chicago, rent a truck there, and then each drive a vehicle home. After looking at the inside of the trucks, I elected to go with a 19' truck. The smaller one had a much narrower floor in the back, due to the trailer/box sitting lower on the wheels. I was none too excited about driving a 19' truck through Chicago, but it seemed to be the way to go.

On Saturday, we went to Lincoln Park Zoo downtown (fun, except that Marcus wanted to push his stroller slowly around the entire zoo, and eventually he had a meltdown and we had to leave), and then we went to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. We only went there a couple of times when we lived in CA, but we both really liked it. Marcus perked up a bit for pizza and fruit.

Sunday morning, we got up and went out for breakfast. Then we picked up the truck and drove to IKEA. You could say I was a little stressed out driving the truck. (Yes, Rebecca, I know this is a dinky truck for you, but I have very little experience driving vehicles with limited visibility). But it wasn't too bad driving to IKEA.

Originally, when I had thought about how this shopping event would go, I figured we'd be there for maybe 2-4 hours. It instead took us about 7 or 8. It was a busy Sunday at IKEA, with lots of shoppers. Marcus was bored silly a lot of the time and had to be chased down. Because it was so busy, I was afraid to let him out of my sight, so one of us (more often me) was always watching him while the other attempted to figure out the number of pieces we needed of this and that. There were also little kiosks with computer entertainment for kids, but they weren't in every department, so we often had to pull Marcus away from one (cue screaming protest here) and keep him from going back. When we finally got everything picked out, we had to go downstairs and load the pieces - including the couch and chairs - onto fairly small flat carts. It took us five of these carts (plus our regular shopping cart) to get all the stuff loaded. Then we had to get all the carts (and Marcus) to the checkout lanes. By this time, it was his usual bedtime (and he'd had no nap), and he was seriously tired. We couldn't believe it had taken us so long to get everything. We even went with a list.

But wait! There's more! The store we went to didn't have one of the pieces we needed for our shelf (they were out), so we had to go to the other IKEA - and before they closed. I ran over to the nearby mall for some goodies (Jamba Juice and Chipotle), and then we hurried over to the other IKEA, getting there about 15-20 minutes before they locked the doors. They closed at 8:00 (9:00 our time), and we still had to drive home.

Surprisingly, I did not as tired as I might have expected. I never had any trouble staying awake. But as is often the case now, when I stay up late, I start getting really stiff and sore. My shoulders and neck ached. The truck felt wobbly and unwieldly at higher speeds, and I just didn't like driving it. We stopped twice on the way back to stretch and take a break. We got home at a little before 2:30 in the morning. I promptly crashed.

So now we have shelves awaiting stain, a couch and chairs awaiting unwrapping and covering, and various small items awaiting assembly. And then we have to unpack all the stuff that is still in boxes from the move. It's a lot of work, but it will look a lot better in here when it's all done.

Dieting.

2007-09-19T17:31:00.001-04:00

This morning, Chris asked how the diet was going. He pointed out that my blog had started out as a place to talk about weight loss. It's now been almost nine months since I started this blog, and I've only lost about two pounds (and I think that was just from getting home after the Christmas glut and returning to a normal routine).

I have lost weight on four occasions that come to mind:
1) I was on antidepressants that reduced my appetite - and exercised regularly.
2) I exercised a lot and was very strict with my diet.
3) I ran a lot and was moderately strict with my diet.
4) I exercised fairly regularly and ate low-carb (meat, bleh).

You see a theme here, right? Lots of exercise. Running was the best, but I don't think I will ever get to run again. I'd love to bike more, but since starting the spinning, my right knee (IT band) has been sore. I'm rather disgusted that I have this great $800 bike here and can't use it.

I love food. I eat for all kinds of reasons, and I like many kinds of food. I don't really need a reason. I also think it's harder to diet with a child around, because he doesn't necessarily want to eat what I want to eat. And if I fix something for him that has multiple servings, I feel like I should eat it rather than let it go to waste. I dislike cooking enough to make just one meal; I have no desire to prepare two or three different things just to satisy everyone - and then pass up on whatever I've made for Marcus in favor of something low-cal and boring.

Each day can seem like a long time. When we've gone out to eat somewhere, for instance, and I feel satiated, of course that's the time when I think of dieting - and a day or two (or three) later, I've completely forgotten about that big meal. I've forgotten that I just had the fun of going out to eat and really don't need to do it again. Each day is a whole new opportunity to go try something else or have an old favorite. I just can't keep up the motivation to avoid that temptation for more than a day or two. A regular intensive exercise program seems to be helpful in that regard...but in lieu of one, I just don't know how to curtail the urges. I can't take any supplements either, because Marcus is still nursing.

So...each day, I still get up, weigh and chart my weight. It doesn't take much effort. But I don't really expect anything to happen most of the time. A simple small reduction in my food intake has no longlasting effect on my weight; it takes a major reduction, which I just can't make myself do. My metabolism is stuck right here until I either severely limit my calories or can start exercising again. That's just the way it is.

update

2007-09-09T13:54:00.001-04:00

Well, there hasn't been a lot to post lately. I'm dealing with more health issues, some of which are not fit for public discussion.

I was really enjoying using my spinning bike regularly, and then my knee started bugging me. I think I have iliotibial band syndrome, in which I have to take it easy for a while. Blah.

I still have the neuromas. My foot is better, but the problem isn't going away completely...I think I will probably get one more cortisone shot, and if that isn't enough, I'll try the sclerosis (alcohol injections). I just can't wrap my head around surgery. It may be an easy surgery with relatively high success, but it just seems wrong to have my foot cut open.

I'm coming to the conclusion that the drug I take for my FMS isn't doing anything. This is a little depressing, because it clearly does do wonders for some people, and I don't understand why it won't work for me. But I'm also sick of taking pills everyday. It makes me uneasy. I think taking any drugs long-term carries the chance of permanently altering something. The people who take this drug for FMS swear of it's safety, but you never know.

I just started with a new chiropractor, who also happens to be an acupuncturist, so I'm going to try that for a while. I just wish something would make me feel more normal.

In a couple of weeks, we're going to rent a truck and go to IKEA (and possibly visit something else in Chicago - probably the zoo). This will be exciting because we will finally get more shelves and furniture! We still have a lot of boxes and loose belongings on the floor here. It's quite a mess. We never unpacked everything the whole time (~2.5 yrs) we lived in our apartment. It will be nice to finally go through everything, organize, and get rid of the stuff we don't need.

Now I know it's flawed

2007-08-25T12:34:00.001-04:00

...since I clearly look more like my dad. Maybe it's skewed because he doesn't smile with his teeth showing? Who knows.

These are all photos from our wedding (taken by Becky) - except for Marcus, because there weren't any front shots of him that the program could read.

Okay, enough of that.