Thoughts on the kids.

There are elements of this move, and of this stage in life with Marcus, that I did not expect at all. I guess I thought we'd go to playdates, meet some other moms with similar aged kids (or at least similar aged to his friends in Muncie - a little younger), and life could potentially continue in a similar fashion to how it had been there, but with different people. Of course, I met many of the women in Muncie when Marcus was a baby. I joined the playgroup when the oldest kids were mostly two years older than him. We grew with the group, until Marcus was the oldest. The groups I've met here are young groups - young meaning new, with babies and toddlers. Maybe there are some lurking out there with preschoolers/AM kindergartners, but I haven't found them yet. And having a baby who needs to nap regularly (and who becomes a tyrant if she doesn't) makes it more difficult to find people.

The fact is, right now at least, it looks as if he will meet most/all of his new friends in school. That concept never occurred to me. There aren't even many kids right around our house. This neighborhood is a mixture of young families and retirees, but the ones right next to us are the latter (excluding one who is due to have their first baby in a few months). Kids do not hang out in their front yards and the street here, like they did at home, so I don't even see kids anywhere. Play opportunities do not readily present themselves. So his best chance seems to be making friends in kindergarten and setting up playtimes after school with them (and technically, since kids can enroll here from anywhere, they might not even be from our school district - which is okay but not as convenient).

Then there's the half-day vs full-day situation that I need to decide ASAP. For a while I was really enthusiastic about signing him up for full-day (we even just visited there yesterday). I think I like it better than the alternative, which is a program called K+, provided after his morning kindergarten. While the facility doesn't impress me, and the program would mean more work for me (preparing lunches and picking him up in the afternoon), it appeals to me for one reason: flexibility to do other things with him. A part of me still yearns for the way it used to be, when he and I did things together. There are so many places yet to see here...lately it's been restaurants, but eventually we'd do other things. If it were only us, with no Ari, we would have so much to do together. But Ari needs my attention, and Marcus suffers. Combine this with the playgroup demographic issue, and I feel as though I'm moving into a new era (for lack of a better word), where all my potential new friends will center around Ari, and Marcus is an outsider. That makes me sad. :( Anyway, with the K+ program, I could sign him up for 3-4 days per week and still have that other day to take him to lunch or whatever. I just don't know if it's worth the extra hassle, when Ari will always need an afternoon nap (for the rest of the school year), and many of those free days probably would end up with him sitting in front of the computer screen, just as he's been doing every afternoon thus far. *sigh*

There have been times lately when I've thought about the overall kid situation too - if there would ever be more. This is a case where biology is toying with me. I'm nearly 38, and as I've said before: I have no desire to be wrangling toddlers (besides the one I will have) in my 40s. I dreamt a couple of nights ago that I was pregnant, and I was horrified at the prospect of going through a terrible birth experience again. So I should be finished. I should be happy to be done and have gotten two healthy babies. Still, the idea of getting rid of all the baby stuff (which takes up too much space in our house!) is a very bittersweet one. I gotta enjoy my warm, squishy, soft baby while I have her, because I doubt I can handle going through this past six months again. ;)

Baby duty calls.